45 with Cardi B

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l.com are we recording are we rolling

right now we rolling cuz I can't hear

Austin Austin I'm ring are we recording

I'm recording but they got to be

recording so it's only when they start

that you guys start oh are y'all

recording all right they're recording oh

[ __ ] so we're the [ __ ] oh well all

right that was all right yeah can you

give us a better all right that all

right all right there we go uh I will

name this podcast later episode number

47 that was a guess no that was it's 45

why are you so off she's right it was

45 can I a shot of course thanks episode

number 45 I will name this podcast later

I'm your host Joe Buton this is [ __ ]

my to body to the right of me and

Michael Roar to the left of me that was

the worst shot I've ever seen I went all

down my chin and on my shirt wait the a

minute Rory Rory has what is this a

flask of Hennessy is this personal is

that a p of henness it's a little

personal the hood calls it a personal

I'm very far removed from anything that

the hood does so save that for your

Henny Palo friends uh

the going down tiet available now

look at Chris Paul look at Chris Paul yo

me me and uh someone who's very dear to

you both want to know exactly what you

do with any paloa cuz I don't know I

also want to know I asked Sam and Sam

said you know what to be honest I don't

she knows that's that's a lie she didn't

know when I asked her she very well

knows she didn't know two weeks ago down

I know she said she goes there and

you're on stage kicking people that's

because it's more attractive uh when she

holds it down that's why so you're the

stage kicker offer you have dimple yeah

I'm the muscle yes 45 weeks you didn't

realize he was the muscle at my birthday

party too yeah man I was I where was I

on your birthday what in La somewh being

a thought probably okay so this is

episode number 45 I feel like there's a

lot to [ __ ] catch up on um is there

is there Christmas is coming the goose

is getting fat please put a dollar in

the old man's hat you heard that song

I'm seeing more and more people say that

they ran off on the plug twice where is

this from who does that I have no idea

I'm about to ask you what that was ran

off on the plug sounds a future bar I

think it might be a Ply song sure a

people are saying that uh repeat it

again um ran I ran off on the plug twice

does that mean they stole from the plug

and ran away that's exactly what that

means well why would the plug sell to

them after they ran off on the first one

you okay by I don't really get it I

don't know our B is here I don't now oh

I'm very excited about that so I was one

of the people that was W let me get

right into it I was one of the people

that was watching uh Miss Universe mhm

while football was on I was okay I'm not

afraid I'm not ashamed to admit that to

the world that's fine there's pretty

women up there talented pretty women

yeah but you know you're supposed to

watch football when football's on if

you're a man I was watching football

well yeah cuz I'm gay but whatever we

found that out last week well [ __ ] I

don't know about last week what happened

last week you admitted that you were [ __ ]

like four times did I yeah oh whatever

um so I was watching this show and when

Steve Harvey did the [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm not

really sure why this is as big of a well

no that's not true I I I am aware of why

this is but what I'm saying is there are

very conflicting reports with this

apparently there's a Snapchat story that

someone that uh was deleted uh from the

Miss Universe account oh look at this

pretty girl hi there y'all what the hell

is going on in the universe I feel like

we all dressed down where are you going

tonight this this this regular thing

right here

regular not even hold hold on now let's

simmer down sit sit down baby please

have a seat Boo sit down now do you need

water henness hold up I don't I don't

need her to say a word now hey uh mere

peons of the universe a Rory M the body

and myself included we are

fortunate and blessed enough to let us

say a prayer to have the queen here

cardi Christ CH our most prominent we

speak very prominent the most high ever

stop fling you know I'm saying a power

greater than you and I and all of us did

you feel it when she walked in your

energy is tangible baby Joel oin who we

have the great The

Honorable cardi B with us in the

building we don't have sound effects so

we'll just do this St it's funny because

we were talking about the Miss Universe

Pageant but [ __ ] all them universe

univers and Miss Universe W in this is

now this is pretty good this is I no I

personally have a lot of [ __ ] that I

would like to ask uh I don't know about

you too I just want to talk about your

song because I [ __ ] love the boom

boom no no no I play it every day if we

going to talk about cardi song we got to

talk about going h on the remix

no I am no that is the remix some have

the remix of the remix oh my

God now you look you look uh ravishing

right now all covered up oh than

[ __ ] what the [ __ ] is this what's going

on you look like [ __ ] you came from

Egypt or some [ __ ] oh you know what I'm

saying I don't want to be like

overdressed because it's like you know I

want people be like why she always got

her titties out and all that and you

know what I'm saying like I was like let

me just go well you probably picked the

wrong place to not have titty titties

are come here yeah titties yeah but

we've seen cardi B's titties a million

times yeah over different in person I

suppose have we seen him in person oh

yeah actually now I think about it yeah

we have we seen him in person quite a

few times oh at the club shout out

us yeah we we've been there we've been

there to witness greatness remember when

remember LeBron's first game in

Sacramento it was that's what happened

when cardi Dan like we've seen the

Ascension here I will say me and Joe

were there ear in the

ear me and me and Joe were uh in the

corner throwing no money at all not a

single dollar no women by

ourselves lasagna or some [ __ ] CH lust

has great lasagna they do no yeah no and

Starlet and star yeah it's the same

people I think but uh listen now so I'm

one of the many people that feel like uh

MO de and and the whole crew over there

my La that they're not letting your

greatness

flourish uh that this is how I feel

that's how I

feel I mean I think that their plan was

for me like to be like a a real big cast

member you kind of eclipse that [ __ ]

yeah like until they see like

yeah social media yeah and I thought

that to myself watching the show um

after the first episode aired I I text

all of them in a group chat and I said

uh fam just let me know when uh Queen

cardi is airing please and they was like

next week yeah for the record I made

next week shut the [ __ ] up oh my don't

you just despise people who just need

credit on your credit we got to fix your

credit report um so I thought that and

here I am watching all of this [ __ ] last

night I really love Remy and Papo right

I do um they are great episode two they

were good too they're great and I really

really love how Pap is coming off but

they not letting y mean like wait I know

you wasn't even in the first

episode but I they really might not have

realized I don't think what they had on

their hands I don't believe for one

second this you and self [ __ ] let me

say that I'll be the first be the first

not allowed to say like isn't she not

allowed well she can't that's I'm saying

she can't say that but we have no time

anybody oh Monday 8:00 we know the media

training they put you through we we yeah

thanks Monday 8:00 not that you're not a

good actor since that self is a horrible

actor I mean yeah self yeah I mean just

from Guy Code I'm watching this [ __ ]

last night self is sitting in the crib

on FaceTime with you who most would

argue might be one top five loudest

women period you loud why would I be

FaceTiming loud ass cardi B with my

[ __ ] upstairs so now I'm FaceTiming

loud ass cardi oh I want to sou dick oh

when I'm going see you y whatever the

[ __ ] she saying right and here come the

Spanish [ __ ] walking downstairs like my

[ __ ] really really this is what's

happening you know what I'm saying I

don't

know I got it I got it I got it they GNA

sue me back to start so so so now you're

retired from stripping yeah which I

don't believe for a second n everybody

retires when they do this [ __ ] [ __ ] it

all up going you don't to go back the

last time I danced was on my birthday

cuz you know I'm about to I had to get

that birthdayy I was just about to say

I've seen n have um n who also Love Hip

Hop I've seen n have at least

seven birthday slash I'm retiring from

the Strip Game parties uh in my lifetime

at least seven of them I mean you know

what I say that I'm retired because my

manager has told me and have promised me

that you will not go back to the strip

club because I am not ever I cuz I'm I'm

a very realistic and a very negative

person to be to be honest with you and I

am not the type of person to be like oh

I retire from the strip club I'mma Be

Good because you know people suffer

casualties and I feel like I I don't

ever want to be that day that I be like

damn I'm last to my my last 5,000 it's

got to go back to strip clubs and I make

myself like a [ __ ] going back to it

but I'm taking my manager's words I'm

not it's not cuz of me I'm taking my

manager's words like I am believing in

him is Stevie J your manager no he he

had the same uh promise my manager is a

big old New York OG oh then I won't I

won't say anything wrong so cuz of him

that's why I'm saying it if he if he

wouldn't promis me that oh and I'm not

[ __ ] my manager just in case I I

would I wouldn't say it out my mouth cuz

I cuz I seen that I've been there where

strippers be like I'm not going back to

strip clubs and I see them again and

then you know the [ __ ] in the strip

club be like stupid little [ __ ] and

I'll be damn if I be that stupid little

[ __ ] that they you know how you know

they talk about hell the queen man Queen

cardi man I'm trying to tell you man

that's gems that's all she drops every

word out of her mouth a i i i now but

okay so with your with your

uh with your recent whatever the phrase

is that I'm Fame really like attention

I'm not going to say that the change in

your life it's more depth to it than

just like Fame and all of that [ __ ]

Ascension is a good word we'll stick

with that so with your Ascension now

your your manager promises you that but

you still fly with a bunch of hoes in

the strip club your best friend a

stripper

yeah so how has that scene treated all

of this is what I want to know um

because I've seen it before where like

now you're hosting in the spots that you

used to work at yeah I mean like you

know I'm I you know I start I've been

hosting though I I've been hosting ever

since like I reached like the

200,000 followers on my Instagram but

like the hosting money is is Never

Enough like me it's never enough like to

this day I make so good so good money

hosting I host like what two three

nights a week but it's like yeah I made

money these three days I could have made

Seven I could have made money these

seven days a week

like I'm just it's something about

hustle it's something about feeling like

seeing the money getting in your hand

like you know before like right now I

see the deposits in my bank

is is different than seeing the money on

the floor yeah

and tax very different I I get that I

like it I like it I'm in and I will

never like discriminate like the hustle

that fed me when I ain't had [ __ ] or

that made me or that made me realize how

men are you know what I'm saying like so

but now you [ __ ] hated you before you

got on TV oh yeah you know I'm a I'm a

annoying ass [ __ ] I'm annoying so you

know what I'm saying no not you we don't

think you're annoying I don't queen

queen CI k no no she does no

wrong your

mouth blasphemy speak foolishness on

Christmas

week on cardi

week oh it's not birthday on the 25th no

it is now you know you know what

um I don't really I I've been seeing

those po that they put my face on Jesus

thing and I don't I don't feel like

reposting it like it's like oh well

thank you I'm flattered but it's just

like like God doesn't like that so it's

just like you have a great relationship

with God from my understanding from the

interviews I've seen M has that

conflicted in your occupation in the

past and your plan now uh look at no

that was an intelligent question so

you're not a dum what what was that calm

down are you out a sweat

okay I blacked out what happened did I

say something D set of stone is

working just no that was a good question

in your dark intellectual Eternal past

does ever conflict according to Romans

12 shut the [ __ ] up Rory all right well

good question

though you know what like a lot of

people be like oh you you talk about God

you talk about Jesus but you a stripper

and you show your ass and all that

[ __ ] but it's like I feel like

everybody s it's just people sin in

different ways and you know what God put

me in these paths for a reason like for

example when I when I had a regular job

and I got fired I feel like God put told

me like this man told me like yo you

should go to a strip club and me being

in the strip club like I I networked a

lot I networked a lot a lot of stories

that I say or these little videos that I

get on my Instagram is from the strip

clubs and it's from the men in the strip

club and it is what [ __ ] go through

so and it put you in the position to be

where you are now and the same people

that are commenting about that are the

ones that are having premarital sex and

doing all the type of [ __ ] anyway that

the Bible says isn't right either so who

are they to say wa wait

wa who are you to say I I don't want to

snatch your mic too much positivity and

God [ __ ] going on right now I I hate to

be that guy but uh yeah we're going to

get off of that while you guys have your

estrogen moment we're going to curve

that [ __ ] from the get we love God you

guys love God

now I have been around at least four

different hoes right who at different

times they just randomly scroll your

Instagram and watch your videos watch

your videos I do that all the time I'm

not a hoe though uh so five

hoes who do this right so I almost have

that [ __ ] I I don't know how many

listens that uh dental work vid got so

you can but I've heard it I swear to God

at least 55 [ __ ]

times it was going to be that crazy I

just did you playing them in the streets

my g i you know a lot of people be

telling me like [ __ ] why you don't fix

your teeth oh don't you make money to

fix your teeth and all that [ __ ] so

you know I just be joking around with it

like I just be cracking jokes about it I

then thought it was going to be that

serious like you know what I'm saying so

why you punch the [ __ ] in the face on

TV well on TV cuz I seen you do it

online too but you know like I'm that

poor innocent girl she stood up to me

and you know I got small hands I'm a

very small girl and she a little bigger

than me so it's like oh snap she bigger

than me and she punched me I might get

knocked out so I got to hit her first oh

I like them I always I always say people

first GS from Queen cardi gems y we're

not worthy I'm just listening I don't

even want to talk is it Sunday uh Jes

she's taking us right to church

huh where does the cardi B Story start I

want to go from the beginning cuz you've

been doing a lot of interviews just

about love and hip hop Where Do We Begin

where are you from I'm from the Bronx

Grand Concourse are you from the Grand

Concourse no I'm not from Grand

Concourse I'm like around the four line

area so like you know hybrid which area

is that like around yke Stadium you know

where it is shut up R uh what was your

family life like two parent household

one parent household um I want [ __ ]

couples therapy all over the [ __ ] is I

want to dig deep I want to figure you

know what I have a very strict mother I

have a very strict mother she's very

religious but she's just very beautiful

so but she's very strict but I have a

father that love [ __ ] and like I have

a dad that cheats on my mom my mom oh

they're still together no no he just

cheated on my mom so much and it's just

like damn I don't ever want to have a

man like that and there was a point like

that my mom was just my dad was just

supporting my mom and she told me like

sometimes I can't leave your father

because he's all I have damn man so it's

just like um that's why I don't ever

feel like I want to depend on a man like

there's guys that have money and they

just want me like to just be there I

can't because if you leave me for a

younger [ __ ] or a bad a [ __ ] or like I

scare you off cuz I be scaring [ __ ]

off it's that you going to leave me and

I'm going end up with what right that's

why I get my own so so you realize this

at a young age did you go to high school

yes I graduating school and that's how

you said kind of started messing up

though oh where' you go to college I

went to BMCC nice okay you said it was

like a guy that was kind of like taking

your attention away and

was side just as someone who's listening

from the outside not giving very much

input this [ __ ] sounds way too mature

[ __ ] you we want we're trying to figure

out

you guys you two are real losers you're

a [ __ ] loser interested know about

card's mind just because of yall sound

y'all sound like [ __ ] you want me to

say in a British [ __ ] accent let talk

about instag I know that you uh had a

guy that you was just chasing after in

high school and he kind of just threw

you off a little bit Yeah in high school

I messed up a lot but then you know I

graduated and then I was in college and

everything right but when I started

going to college that's when I got

kicked out my mother this house and I

had a regular job I couldn't balance my

regular job working in Amish market as a

cashier D Market is a good Market yeah

it's a good Market they got some good

organ [ __ ] with it I couldn't I

couldn't like balance out my

classes and and making the the money

like I just couldn't so I [ __ ] up then

I started stripping who introduced you

to stripping it's [ __ ] is lit hey I got

fired from Amish market and the manager

[Music]

andar told me like you should go to New

York Dolls oh okay you oh so your first

strip club wasn't an urban strip club

even Michael Jordan was cut no it wasn't

so what do you think the difference is

between stripping at like a Midtown

strip club and urban strip club well one

downtown you wear gowns what and it's

more about like are you going there

tonight yeah right is that what this is

for no more beautiful sexy gown and you

know you just have to talk to a guy more

and you know what like the guys that go

downtown to the strip clubs they um they

like businessmen they Walmart guys and

everything they know when the economy is

a little [ __ ] up so they won't go Wall

Street [ __ ] In The Hood they don't

give a [ __ ] they don't care if [ __ ] is

down if the drugs down they still going

to wmart well now what side

conversation now they think about their

money you know what party godam it it's

Walmart you better believe it they're

from Walmart now what on Earth are yall

talking about over here Walmart

everything stre the same Walmart

investors Wall Street WM they do they do

own Walmart I love this I because there

was this guy that he really it was this

one one of the guys that ever made much

money for he worked for like that

Walmart thing so it just crossed my mind

ow okay oh like corporate so the old

real corporate all right so the old Boos

Still Still linger in the brain that's

nice they guys that like you know that

you remember SP a lot of money because a

lot of money they P that couple of

months yeah um but your man now is in

jail yeah how long does he got going how

much longer he been in there for like a

year and

like months like five months he probably

got like two more years and ain't

nothing you really think it's you want

to stay with him yeah despite everything

coming your way now he's handling it

okay too yeah yeah I mean it's a little

different she's a phony [ __ ] no I got

less time for I got less time to give

him and everything but it's like I know

that's the guy I want to I want to be

with I know it he going to [ __ ] self up

when he come out right oh y had to have

that talk had that

100 had that 100 that's actually going

to come out fake when he get out no no

no

no yeah that that 100 real quick I get

it I get it you can't say anything I

know I know I know all right so how did

you meet this gentleman

around I see your

face you know what I'm saying like after

after I was

19 I don't all I do is work so all I do

is be in the club so ain't no like so

you met him in the club yeah Club okay

no she said it

hey and now you're on to Love and& Hip

Hop do you feel like they're trying to

make you like the jocelin of Love & Hip

Hop like they're trying to mold you to

be I'm I'm starting to see that a little

bit and it's just like I don't like that

because I feel like my my life my life

my personality is way more popping than

anything that you could ever try to make

me I feel like they're trying to do a

lot of comparisons because the whole cat

stack situation too I'm not I'm not that

[ __ ] at all and then she was she was

legitimately upset that you were

claiming the whole title because she

feels like she's a quote unquote real

hoe because she worked the the strip or

whatever I don't I don't s that's the

thing I don't s [ __ ] like I don't s

[ __ ] the [ __ ] want to spend money on

me and going to spend it like I just

feel like that [ __ ] want attention and

I don't even want to talk about little

Dusty be perfectly clear seeing this

would be my problem with like people

that just watch interviews and read

blogs like that I watched that cat

Stack's interview that girls just

sitting in lying yeah like [ __ ] you mean

she was like all of that [ __ ] wased yeah

all the world star stuff was she she has

to because it's part of the I don't want

I don't want to talk about that [ __ ]

that [ __ ] need to go battle AIDS not

not me [ __ ] you mean

[ __ ] so did did Mona reach out to you

or did someone you know on the show

reach out to you how did this Love & Hip

Hop thing come to

play self reached out self was like yo

I'm on this show with my girl but my

girl whack so my story kind of

weak you can turn this [ __ ] up get this

yeah yeah

basically Bronx bring it yeah I I I know

that's not happened you can't say that I

know I know I know I know just wink uh

actually blink if that's what happened

oh she blinked shut the [ __ ] up oh my

God but off but but I'm I'm off of that

I'm more concerned with your

plans uh outside of uh the TV

roles all right like there's the thing

like I always felt like I always felt

like I'm a good writer I always feel

like I Remix things good like I always

feel like like I'm really good at music

and everything but I am a very negative

person I'm the type of person to think

there's a million person there's a

million people that's trying to do music

what who H how lucky am I going to be

for my music to pop but you know what

like my manager he's he's a good team

and I'm like you know what I'mma just

believe in you cuz I'm just the type of

person that be like you know what I'm

going just make as much money open

businesses that say and that's it I'm

not the type to really Chase dreams I

don't I don't like risking things I like

to be safe want to play her song this is

going to work as long as sound take it

down can you fix it can you pause it

until you get it right ouch that was

loud is this less loud yes that's

better

[Music]

uhoh his hard actually yeah this a dope

ass

song She's the first

person all

right DJ DJ

drop yo Austin put some echo on my

voice out

[Music]

the

knowu

[Music]

song you got it you better EMP your

pockets I'm talking heavy depit body got

then you going have to

P that shagg is Shaggy I was really a

guest no it was it's Shaggy song she did

the remix with pop poporn who wrote

that his Parts they wrote their parts me

I had to sit my ass down and be like yo

that's this the que the

queen what she wrote it

duh J didn't even write the Bible who

else who else could write something that

[ __ ] amazing that's my [ __ ] for real

I literally listen to that [ __ ] every

single day I see as you have it

memorized I do I really like that song

oh thank you very much all right so we

got uh the introduction out of the way

the people that don't know who she was

who are [ __ ] now know who she is uh

what else is going on let's add her into

our regular on namess podcast talk Joe

you what happened in DC D this weekend

oh oh man oh okay so because I'm so off

New

York and because there's really like

nothing to do for rappers around

Christmas really what party seems to be

finding plenty of things to do yeah

would you consider yourself you're a

rapper that you

yeah first of all if you disrespect the

queen again like that if you ask

something that she don't want it she

give you that look again my G

hold upen hold

up I you'll be banned from the podcast

for good we'll change the location

everything will be finished if the queen

gives you that look again all right what

do you think Prince is that's your

answer you know when it comes to

entertainment like I'm good at

everything however the [ __ ] I could

entertain people I'm good when it comes

to music I'm good when it comes to

entertaining people on Dancing I'm good

when it comes to Comedy and

entertainment I'm good when it comes to

[ __ ]

I put my honey on everything but wait a

minute you know my problem is with that

all [ __ ] say that

no well there's two women here and you

both said it what we a dick yeah all

[ __ ] say that because but we know how

the [ __ ] you know because I know I've

horny some horny

[ __ ] I'm coming I love you like blowing

out the phone like y move in with me

believe everything a [ __ ] tell you when

he about to come are you that dumb

how do you know you suck such amazing

dick I'm real confident because you know

what I'm saying like I I I've been with

guys that they have been with the

baddest [ __ ] with the baddest [ __ ]

the baddest [ __ ] with the most

sophisticated baddest [ __ ] that you

see on [ __ ] on your goddamn music

videos the [ __ ] that got thousands of

followers just on the way they looks and

[ __ ] be loving me because like they be

like damn [ __ ] you and that mouth yes

that's the same [ __ ] I get I T in the

morning like I'm thinking about their

mou they way in Miami not even in New

York Marissa mendesa and it just holl

all ghetto ass me how you love little

ghetto ass me

cardi [ __ ] I will say a lot of

f suck dick I haven't cook for you I

haven't cleaned your house

nothing all these [ __ ] that that

cardi is naming but them [ __ ] can't

suck no dick now you just comparing

yourself to the [ __ ] F student of the

class talking about you the best I don't

understand

some whack in the first place all right

so the popping [ __ ] with a whole

bunch of followers and all the money and

the [ __ ] that look great they can't

suck dick we knew that hey if y'all

didn't know that time out time out hey

if y'all didn't know that out there let

me be the first to tell you that dumb

[ __ ] be the worst yes but we know

that but let me break it down if they're

getting their dicks up by the

top down like that I just feel I just

feel like I'm such a regular ass girl so

for you to love such a regular ass girl

like me is got to be something exactly

yo what's like fake Remy Martin so I

could call Marissa that Remy n is they

like a call like Bo Farm or something

call M Dog 2020 or [ __ ] you can do 2020

cuz you're [ __ ] Remy Ma and yo that

might be who Marissa is she's Paul Mone

she's like the white Remy Remy n REM no

I could definitely see that with this

[ __ ] [ __ ] here but anyway all right so

back to you all right so you know if you

can suck a dick neither but but you say

that and when [ __ ] say it of course

[ __ ] like [ __ ] is going to say N I

got to see what that mouth about I see

oh my God so when I was in DC right so

when I was in DC me and my [ __ ] we went

out to DC we was like yo we off New York

we going to go to DC we going to back

these [ __ ] we going to get these

hotels we going to go out party we going

to go to Stadium we going to go do all

the [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] cuz we live right

so we get a [ __ ] Rent A Car

Yukon t 16 hop on the highway room music

jamming we get out there get the good

deal on the hotel right now we got the

banging [ __ ] hotel so we like yo

check this out this is what we going to

do we going to get the double right and

then when we head out and get [ __ ]

rocking then we come back with all the

[ __ ] and we going to get a whole

another room and now it's lit we like

word so then we go eat at this spot

around the corner and I had some uh

[ __ ] uh shrimp and grits that

were really really really good and then

we get back to the [ __ ] on tell

because I'm 35 and he's 32 what happened

we go to sleep [ __ ] dick fall asleep

hot Friday night in DC we fall asleep so

I wake up at about 6:00 a.m. thinking

like damn what happened at 3 like not

knowing where I was right I'm like oh

[ __ ] we're really this whack so now he

wakes up I wake up he goes smoke a blunt

we like yo we [ __ ] [ __ ] up last

night so now we got to let DC know

what's good we going to stay another day

and get these [ __ ] so we go cuz we're

wide awake now to Escape the Room in DC

oh my God is is that where all the bad

[ __ ] is that what you do like in

every state is this like a goal well

yeah we've done about a lot of them now

do you know what that is you don't know

what that is it's great though I don't

know why guys do that I that's the thing

that that's the the thing about guys

that's why I just treat them like I

treat them what you guys do the goal of

you guys just oh wait I was no I was

telling a story wait I was tell I know

what she was getting at though which is

another topic itself well let's start

that after I was just tell a story off

the dick sucking thing hold on give me a

second so we go to [ __ ] Escape the

room right we get there and oh my God I

hope these people don't listen to this

podcast so we get there and who's there

but this like amazing looking fat

[ __ ] and I don't the best head I heard

they do but listen when I say that this

woman from mouth her mouth and her lips

and her face and skin and the way all of

that [ __ ] looked like I almost called

that place and booked the next two weeks

out she worked there yeah but I think

she was married Johnny said she had a

ring on her finger but anyway so when we

left that place I tapped Johnny I'm like

oh now was it me or was that fat [ __ ]

fine and Johnny said no hell yeah she

did you see her mouth then we had this

long talk about her mouth now without

having said a word to her about it I

just would bet the house that that woman

sucks amazing dick course don't nothing

about you two [ __ ] say that

y'all suck some great dick well you you

you hearden I got a I got a very like

I'm real loud where you think that loud

come from from all the way down hello

talk about it hey the queen I'm

just so I you know the thing about fat

[ __ ] they do everything with love

they cook with love their vagina is nice

and warm everything about them is warm

so they mouth got to be even warmer

that's why they hair so good but me in

the other hand I'm real skinny but I got

a big ass mouth and all that loud ass

thing that come out mouth Co all the way

down here Jesus man go all the way down

there well my dick ain't that big we

ain't got to worry about all that a lot

I that's we talking about got to go down

anyways moving on down know I got a lot

of home I got a lot of home boy so I

take notes from them like oh BR you like

what all right and I watch a lot of porn

too I think that helped me my How come

every time we talk about the queen youum

you're asking all of us about our dick

sucking skills that's how we got there

asking a goddess oh and I'm not a godd

not a mere human from Bon or wherever

you I'm not from B from from Woodbridge

New Jersey from Ford or wherever you're

from why can't you put an S on wherever

the [ __ ] you from hey don't ever think

that we talking to you when we talking

to [ __ ] royalty all right I mean she

is royalty I have to give that we got to

respect Queen the royalty of the the

[ __ ] projects [ __ ] so everybody keeps

talking about Beyonce shooting a video

and then pictures leaked to Beyonce

shooting a video Orleans at the super in

New Orleans Jay-Z was there because of

course Jay-Z was there why would he be

so now all the fuss is that she's going

to drop a secret album because that's

what happened last time when she dropped

a whole bunch of videos so how do we

feel about this oh I didn't think that

far into the whole secret album thing

just made two years the other day so we

don't feel anything about it at all all

right great who made two years uh

Beyonce secret

album that was only two years ago mhm

December

2013 feels like so much longer no I was

in Sin City when that album changed the

world when a digital dropped no

Dr shock the world yeah but that was

probably toward the end of my S City

where I been stopped going to S City

yeah going toity in a long time over

does that still exist a year and change

it does but nobody goes there but

scammers and drug dealers yeah but maybe

they got bad who always goes no they

probably do well I like how Sin City's

laid out better than any other strip

club in New York the best layout and

that's the one I always went with you

right cuz sin there's mad space [ __ ]

sit on top of each other and they serve

cake and ice cream in sin and the focus

is really on the strippers it's not on

the bartenders I agree me and Joe have

oh cardi you could help us out with this

me and Joe and imanii have this thing

where we want to

start something for the strippers

because bartenders are now taking over

it's too late for that it's too late for

that you guys need a union there needs

to be a stripper Union the thing about

bartenders are don't have to take their

clothes off and they're getting rained

on I feel like while strippers are doing

[ __ ] cartwheels and getting $1 we

need to do something about this this is

epidemic and you could be the face of it

pre for I mean you know stripper un this

the thing I always felt like like like

back in the day when I was stripping not

even back in the day like a couple

months

ago like you know like I always feel

like damn y'all strippers y'all need to

[ __ ] go on

[ __ ] like on a strike or

something go down South we got to show a

goddamn New York [ __ ] that that's it

is over for that like [ __ ] you mean but

then again I be feeling like these

bartenders they do a little extra what

you think the [ __ ] is just out you

think that the same [ __ ] just keep

coming back and sitting your goddamn

section because you not you're not

talking to them or parling with them and

everything a lot of them has [ __ ] them

and sucked them that's the thing like a

lot of [ __ ] be thinking to them like

oh a bartender is more serious than a

stripper because she has not taking a

clothes yeah she's not taking a clothes

off that [ __ ] that D suck more dick

than me

m so I don't even want to hear that [ __ ]

and then on top of that like let's be

honest a lot of strippers in New York

they not looking good y not looking

apart like that's the thing they not

looking the queen they not looking good

like to be honest with you me and me and

the team that I used to that I used to

work with we Ain never really had that

much problem with the bartenders and

everything because I feel like when we

used to go strip we had everything on

point nails hair everything on point

everybody body is on point everything is

on deck if you are on deck and if you

look good you shouldn't really have that

problem so I found something out today

finally stpp going St in New York that's

all I'm I have a St 5 years find all

right we get it we get it um I I'm a

friend with a stripper I'm on her

Instagram and she said not you [ __ ] off

what do you mean she has a link uh in

her bio so I click it cuz she said I'm

live right now and I'm like this [ __ ]

on Blog TV and I see it's not Blog TV

it's called

camsoda.com are you aware of this I keep

seeing people on this camsoda so what it

is it's like Blog TV for strippers you

can pay for tokens and they can set the

price like I'll clap my ass for 10

tokens I'll bust it open for 30 tokens

and these chicks are making a lot of

money they they digitally monetize the

stripping game so maybe we can get these

B the [ __ ] out of here they should have

[ __ ] Brun that [ __ ] when I was a

stripper I would have been like what

what yall want me to do for these tokens

[ __ ] you mean Mario for these tokens

couple months late y'all I'm a couple

months late y'all could had the queen

man are you sure I can't a again hey I

can't be a a digital stripper it's

different it's like a virtual stripper

like doesn't the porn stars do that [ __ ]

too probably oh yeah yeah but that's

like all and [ __ ] just sign up does that

[ __ ] yeah so like instead of watching

Joe [ __ ] listen to music in front of

his laptop you can watch a stripper

[ __ ] bust it open see a titty or two

it's good well hold up now don't get it

[ __ ] up sometimes watching Joe listen

to music on his laptop you end up seeing

a titty or two we don't want to see

titties though we talking about my

titties [ __ ] you just have titties

in your house oh my God never mind um so

listen now so do we care about uh just

me sentencing probation any of this [ __ ]

I mean that's sad they're really trying

to make an example out of that poor kid

and it's really [ __ ] up that he's

missing out on movie opportunities and

all type of [ __ ] and wait huh yeah he

had an audition for a Will Smith movie

that he couldn't go um to in Hollywood

because he had to sad about yeah it

sucks they're [ __ ] taking money out

of this guy's mouth he has a child he

has like [ __ ] they're doing something

to him because he forgot to check in for

probation that he's had for [ __ ]

years and years and years from a a

charge that he had from

have you ever been on probation no thank

you Jesus have you ever been on parole

no so you never had yeah parole officers

and probation officers are there for a

reason and I don't think you better hope

to God that you don't get a bad one or

one that has it out for you so now here

you go you had you don't know what he

has the nigga's been all around the

world [ __ ] making millions of dollars

while on PR what you I don't understand

this like you're slapping it's like when

the cops was looking for me and I was

tweeting yo suck my dick it's like

you're slapping these [ __ ] in the face

what do you think is going to happen

when they actually catch you I don't

know I don't really look too into the

judicial system like that I don't really

have those problems cuz you white see y

white people man that [ __ ] white

privilege strikes again we just look at

the same thing what's what's parole yeah

exactly different okay so and while

we're on to

that um I just want to say this is very

minor Nicki Minaj is slowly morphing

into [ __ ] IG alot what why do you say

that like remember and I say that

because we couldn't wrap up the year

without talking about them when no when

Iggy when Iggy was beefing with Papa

John's on Twitter right I thought that

that was the funniest thing in the

universe that's pretty me I couldn't

understand why such a successful

woman was going on a 30 tweet rant about

Papa John's why they came at her no

somebody from um piz Pizza every boy

kept her number and then text her like I

love you so much and then gave it out to

his friends and family [ __ ] you're

pissing people off though you took

[ __ ] chose this life sh what the [ __ ]

are you talking about you're famous

you're famous what are you talking about

people do that [ __ ] sometimes the

[ __ ] somebody at AT&T randomly text

me Joe yo Mo Music 3 what [ __ ] what am I

want to going to right now hey

AT&T well you know check this out so

wait now cuz I'm not done so she did

this about Papa John's and I was

confused but then I'm like you know what

everybody does dumb [ __ ] I certainly

can't look at nobody funny for doing

dumb [ __ ] I'm the king of doing dumb

[ __ ] you definitely are the king of

doing dumb [ __ ] but

then Iggy beefed with

Sprint was it I don't recall that she

beefed with somebody else all right so

forget about Iggy for a minute because

Iggy said you know what [ __ ] y'all y'all

can't appreciate a real ass [ __ ] I'm

getting offline right rides horses so

she did that so she's offline riding

horses great Nikki

now what did she PE

about apparently

she disturb sign on her hotel door and

would you [ __ ] believe the cleaning

people went in there anyway I mean she

put the sign up that's rude why the [ __ ]

are we look going why are we hearing

a I'm the only one confused by [ __ ] like

this I mean just because she's famous

she can't complain about it I'd be

annoyed don't disturb me [ __ ] I might

be in here popping it on a handstand I

don't want you seeing all that I told

you don't disturb me that's what they

made it for what do people just feel

like so entitled am I like the exact

opposite of that it's they made the do

not disturb sign for literally one

reason guess what it was not to disturb

you know that Nicki Minaj is a

[ __ ] uh super duper Star yes I'm

fully aware of that and this is what

we're using our should F housekeeping I

mean because they came in a room when I

had to do not dord well give me the back

story she go on yeah she went on Twitter

what do you mean it was the end of the

story [ __ ] that was the story The

Sign was on the door the housekeeping

people came in and then she went on long

ass

and now I'm looking at my timeline

saying why is this [ __ ] was she

complaining about it or was she trying

to get action like was was she trying to

tweet the hotel like fire your employees

or she was just both you got to go back

you follow her I'm sure you're [ __ ]

one of the Barbies so I'm surprised you

one of the Barbies and you missed all

this I was actually working today so let

me not just direct this at her anytime

celebrities do that it comes off way it

looks it looks you're acting like you

guys aren't humans too I've seen you

even be upset like people like criticize

every little [ __ ] thing and it's like

hard cuz it's like you're still a

[ __ ] human being at the end of the

day like you have feelings you say

random [ __ ] like yeah I'm I'm a

sensitive ass yeah it sucks like that

[ __ ] like you know maybe cuz I'm new at

this maybe cuz I'm new at this and it's

just like damn like people must forgot

that I got a mother and a father too

like [ __ ] you mean like my feelings be

hurting sometimes and sometimes I feel

like I don't got no privacy like I don't

like it's just like damn when I'm

shopping like hey [ __ ] can you come

over here it's like I don't ever want to

be like no because I don't want to look

like a [ __ ] and everything but it's

just like there there like for example

somebody took a picture of me right and

then when they took a picture of me I

saw it and they was talking [ __ ] about

me and it's like [ __ ] you mean you see

this why you can't be nice to people and

I don't know like that whole people

criticizing me and talking about me it's

a little new to me it's something I

guess I got to adapt to it but right now

like you know I'll be a little

sentimental and whatever you clap back

sometimes sometimes I can't help to clap

back that [ __ ] is hard my best friends

will tell me like stop [ __ ] replying

to people but it's like you [ __ ] you

guys 70 best friends by the way can we

get clarity on which who are these Carol

is the one that gets the most angry at

me for replying to people because I

really give them the time of day but

sometimes they say some dumb [ __ ] and

it's mean yeah it's so de mean like damn

[ __ ] you like they were criticizing my

carpet the other day I'm like [ __ ]

this picture is not about my carpet

she's like [ __ ] you better replace that

[ __ ] Oh you mean like the mean [ __ ] you

said about W when he happened to see it

yeah well I wasn't adding him that's a

difference people come to my pictures to

be in my comments to troll me I shared

my opinion on Twitter without adding him

because I wasn't trying to bother or

interrupt his life these people come to

me to comment on my pictures to tell me

that I'm a [ __ ] ugly troll [ __ ] that

looks like I drink bardi all day long

and that I'm somebody's Auntie they and

then they call me Tia Marissa like

that's not nice in in their defense you

kind of look you kind of look like you

drink bicardi a lot I don't drink

bicardi

100% look like you drink bardi on a

regular basis they call me somebody's

thty ass Auntie that looks like they

drink bikari all day long but that's an

accurate they have that popping ass

dragonar you're wearing truck fit I am

wearing truck fit shout out to big ass

hoop earrings at almost 28 years old red

hair and [ __ ] what what is wrong with

Chuck truck fit and Moses a [ __ ]

Maurice Malone jeans

who you got a lot you do these jeans are

like $30 from like Joyce Leslie or

something suco jeans what did you have

to do to get the truck fit nothing

nothing I what the f I didn't do

anything think the song said otherwise

yeah but it's not what it was they just

sent me a package I came in today to do

this podcast and Marissa was in the

bathroom getting hair and makeup done I

was not getting my hair and makeup done

my like I stuck my clearly the hair part

was a joke let me let me get the joke

off uh so you were getting makeup done

why exactly cuz of a date

later yeah yeah

what who are you going on a date with

nobody that is your business oh you

brought it up I did but that's because

he keeps asking me questions where'd you

meet this gentleman on an app what app

not telling that app because they didn't

cut a check you met a man on an app yes

I've met a couple and some of them are

psych oh that's uh Soul um [ __ ] just

said it Soul Swip it's fine they're not

going to cut us a check anyways Delta

that's where he came from the guy that

gave me the buddy pass on Soul swipe yep

C would you ever uh meet somebody on an

app a goddess like you know when

Instagram came out and everything I met

this guy yo on his pictures he was

looking so good and everything he look

like a fine Jamaican thing and when I

saw him pron like yo I had to dip it

that [ __ ] was [ __ ] ugly how did you

dip out of this dat she just van she

disappeared [ __ ] that's party she

walked on water talking about she just

vanished where did he take you we went

to the um to the Labor Day parade and

everything and I was like uh him and

everything then my cousin's call and I'm

like yo I'm going to go to the Trinidad

and [ __ ] float and that and I get it

out the crowd but that [ __ ] was M ugly

never again never never again I have a

very relatable story to the situation if

we want to bring back the story time

segment of uh hoing in DMS and why um

hopefully cardi can guide you in the

right direction after this yeah it was a

it was a very crazy situation so I would

like all of your commentary even though

you guys have heard this story before

but what the same Delta Story the DM

story about how I learn why you probably

shouldn't DM people you end up in a

shitty situation I I want to hear it

again cuz my memor unended let's hear so

a couple years ago so last year I had

broken up with my ex and um I had gotten

over my little like morning period you

know sometimes you need like the I don't

want to talk to any guy like I hate

everybody whatever so then it was time

for the ho phase right so I was kind of

just you know living life so you weren't

a hole before that I was going to say

are we still in the phase did when did

the phase

the just a period of time and so you

find that person you really like that's

when the whole face whole face yes okay

but it's a I mean for some for some it's

a phase I mean for some it's a lifestyle

yeah for some it's a culture I'm in the

whole phase right and um so there's this

person that I had been like wanting for

like years right had a huge crush on him

so right so I sent him my favorite nude

on DM at this time I had just got my

titties done I had lost a lot of weight

cuz I was on the breakup diet which

means I was eating air every day and

little scrappy was single at that point

too so was like the perfect time so um

so I took a really good nude and I sent

it to this person on DM and I sent a

beautiful message along with it I said

um I'm totally available to talk

politics or ride your dick like a pony

either one um shut hit me up [ __ ]

freak so which by the way I don't even

ride at all uh so you believe she she

sent that type of message one day into

her whole face I was like a week into my

whole face that's like a Prof who knew

that you were like the mic I'm a writer

I'm good at writing I don't really

that was not good

writing creative writing you know

creative someone so new at being a ho to

have the knowledge I had a whole phase

of my my breakup before that you know

what I mean so it's my second go round

oh okay so they welcomed you back got it

got it got it with open arms so your

seat is right here Marissa so I didn't

we knew he'd be back thank you everyone

I'm back so I didn't think he'd see the

DM I figured he gets like a lot every

single day but um lo and behold I would

think it was like two days later why

would he get a lot every single day I

have no idea so lo and behold a couple

days later popular [ __ ] off uh so I get

another DM back and he was like what's

your number and I was like holy [ __ ]

it's lit right so I sent my number right

away I say nothing else with my phone

number so then two three four five days

pass and he doesn't text me so I'm like

oh my God I'm asking Joe I'm like you

know on average when you get a girl's

number when do you like how long does it

take to text her like am I should I

follow up and Joe's like just relax like

he's going to text you whatever yeah cuz

I think my line was uh I think my line

was that yo you're not even the [ __ ]

hit you right away type [ __ ] like a

[ __ ] get your number and then hit you

like in a month yeah like 39 days later

like yo what's good

you so then I'm seeing pictures of him

online right I'm like well he obviously

is's at his phone she's seeing pictures

online I mean like on you know you

weren't searching no no no they were

like available onl just happen to

refresh the timeline at that time what

coincidence his phone I forgot I DM this

guy oh man so then I'm like all right

all right all right I'm going to follow

up with a new DM this is like I don't

know the old system of DMs I don't know

how they work now but so like it would

pop back up I don't really send DMS

anymore this is my I learned my lesson

this time you graduated yeah I will

never send a DM after this so you're out

of your whole face she graduated to Soul

[Laughter]

swipe I ain't going to lie that's a mud

ass graduate went from 12th grade to

13th grade so um so any who so I I write

my name uh my number on notepad right

and I take a screenshot of it send that

to him in a new DM so that it'll pop up

at the top and I I add the message like

you obviously got so excited that I gave

you my number you forgot to text me LOL

make sure you use it right you a thirsty

[ __ ] too super I waited a whole week I

waited a

week E I hate thirsty [ __ ] e yo you

double messaging me Mom you need a

friend like me be a friend like I really

was going to do it like two days later a

double message girl so so so so then I

wake up in the morning can I get there

it don't let Joe Clown I definitely

clowned him for double texting a [ __ ]

once yeah so I wake up early in the

morning yes you never on the double text

never the double text du you got me oh

don't try to clean it up with the Duke

double texting thanks all right back to

might story we get back to this so I

wake up in the morning and he's he's

there and he was like I'll be in New

York tonight can you are you free I'm

like [ __ ] yeah I'm

free I just double DM you so I was like

oh yeah I'll probably be around just

I'll fly myself just hit me up so all of

a sudden it's lit right so I hop up I

[ __ ] run to Dyan get my eyelashes

done shout out to cat so I do all that

[ __ ] right so I'm ready I shave why we

shouting out to cat cuz she did my

eyelashes on right so I'm all ready to

go right so then I had an event to go to

that night so I went with my home girl

she's like my whole friend that like I

know I can leave her and like go do some

ho [ __ ] and she'll just like be down for

the count and like those friends are

necessary yeah definitely need one of

those friends she has a

lot are friends no no my best friends

aren't they're not down for yeah they're

not like that shout out to the

squad yeah yeah so

so I get to the event right so I'm there

we're chilling this great it's like a

concert situation I get the text like

hey what's up it's such and such I

didn't even wait for him to follow up

tell me an address nothing I threw my

keys at my home girl I'm like [ __ ] take

my car I'm hopping into Uber I'll be

back I don't know when I'm going to be

back I might be tomorrow it might be

sometime tonight come get me when I'm

ready she's like okay so I [ __ ] run

downstairs and I'm texting was it really

sunny outside that no it's it's like 10

o' at night why cuz why why I'm just

trying to figure out why you with this

thirsty I don't know you a small big

no is huge we'll get there this podcast

will not turn into [ __ ] uh we going

to do that [ __ ] on somewhere else so any

that [ __ ] on lip service so we're I'm

running down right and so he's texting

me like oh come to my U my my apartment

it's downtown Manhattan la la la I'm

like boom great boom so now you're

running from Bon to downtown I'm not I'm

in Brooklyn at this point in my story in

my story you're in B I don't even live

in Bon I live in Jersey City I said in

my story you're in know why we're ran to

the city okay so I ran to the city in a

like the band okay who the band when

they uh had to run Junior for the

cheesecake cheesecake oh got it sorry

everybody don't worry about it slow uh

so I'm so excited by the story so I hop

in the Uber I get to his apartment right

so he's like ring the penthouse I'm like

Okay cool so I'm ringing the penthouse

I'm standing downstairs for like 10

minutes right he's not answering the

door I'm not understanding why when

obviously you're in the house right so

I'm like what is he doing so then um I

had such a good joke to add in on who

this is for this part but I'm not going

to so then um I finally he finally

buzzes me in right so then I get to the

elevator I go upstairs now pen houses as

you guys know most of you there's only

no hallway like it just opens to the

door and you either have to go in or go

back in the elevator no I don't know

that what you don't I ain't never been

no P house all right well that's how

that worked so the door open we [ __ ]

Benders

yeah don't try don't try to put me in

different we just be happy if they have

a bed for you word so the elevator door

opens and the door everybody trying to

see sound fancy around the queen no I'm

just saying that's how you know how it

goes boo right when so the door open

[ __ ] you guys you know the one downtown

you know right girl it ain't even

hallway right is so wh yeah I know come

on so the door opens to the elevator and

his door is a jar but he's not there so

I'm a little concerned cuz I'm like I

don't want to go in this man's house

want to hear the word a jar in this

story that's mean it was a jar so like I

didn't know whether to just go in and

because he's not there but obviously he

left it open for me so I'm like [ __ ] it

I'm I'm just I'm just go in so I go in

there and I'm calling for him he's not

answering I'm calling his phone he's

what name did you say scrap why is it

little scrappy why why is he living in

downtown Manhattan I'm giving you my

version of the story tell red

Cafe where are you Scrappy I'm here your

door was a

jar your door it was a jar oh no it's a

jar right there girl the kitchen know I

mean your y your door was a jar I got

mad jar you want that loud no b b forget

it all right great so I'm looking around

it's like a strange it's like a strange

ass apartment like there's paintings of

people with their middle fingers up up

and there's like a thousand trillion

candles and a big ass chandelier mad

ominous right like dark as hell like it

was just weird as [ __ ] and I'm still

calling or romantic or weird so then I'm

like maybe it's a test maybe he's

watching me on a camera to see if I use

my phone and take a picture and put on

Instagram or something so I'm going to

pass this test and I'm going to sit at

this big ass lunch style table situation

was like a big wooden table like it

belonged to Hogwarts that's crazy and

I'm going put my phone face down if he's

looking at me and then I'm going to just

stand here with my hands folded so I do

that right I sat there for 10 minutes

like no no idea where this guy is I'm

just sitting in the stranger I could

have robbed him line no did you think

about using your

phone I called him multiple times weird

redish SC black so suddenly finally

after 10 minutes out of the back of the

apartment why is anything sudden after

10 minutes yeah that's not sudden at all

to be honest actually sitting theair

hands folded doing nothing mad concern

and

suddenly the door wasn't a jar all right

come on come on come on so he comes like

floating out of the back Like a Phoenix

rising out of the ashes right and he was

like oh my I ha to interrupt what would

have been the time you would have left I

got to see your thirst level here we're

at 10 minutes what if we hit obviously

okay then I would have had to go like he

might have oh my my my my my my my won't

fall asle let's not lie let's not lie in

the

Pres let's not lie in front of cardi

though already knew she was yeah word I

don't like a guy making me feel like

like [ __ ] you mean you making me wait

but what if he

jar that's what guys like that's the

thing guys like when when you thirsty

like CH don't School up queen

queen I be to text [ __ ] I be wanting

to text [ __ ] but I [ __ ] it let text yo

now let her learn on her own yo yo so

okay it gets way worse so he finally

he's like my bad I was shaving and I was

like

what SC I a beard any so then he was

like oh come to the back I'm like all

right cool this is great so we go to the

back mind you we haven't we've met

before like in passing but I don't think

he knows me like at all right so we go

to the back and he look he's getting a

phone call as he looks at me he's like

take all that off and then he just

walked outside take that Jurassic Park

hat

off now you see let that guy

cheat jacket cheetah print truck fit

hoodie off hey hey all that [ __ ] you

got off go through that I had a dip set

jacket you sitting here with a real

[ __ ] [ __ ] so at that point I was like

wait a second wait did he mean like all

my clothes did he mean like my pants cuz

I couldn't sit on his bed without my

pants on gr out your mouth girl I had my

grill in of course you did CU you're 2

years old so I'm like I'm like mad

concerned at this point I'm like you

know I don't want to take my pants off

and that's all he meant cuz I don't have

any underwear on so I want him to think

like I was overly excited about about

this whole situation I think he knew by

now wait wait she didn't want wait I

just want to be that ass naked and him

be like whoa like I wasn't wait time out

PSA out there cuz I I I hear a lot of

women out there over the years I've

heard him say see he must think I'm

stupid no I didn't think that this is

why we may think that sometimes I just

want y'all to listen to Marissa really

briefly here just don't go ahead that's

it okay yeah so um so then I just stand

there for another 10 minutes this guy

has no concept of time and I'm just like

I'm not going to get naked because I

don't know if that's what he meant so I

just stood there fully clothed right you

know what I learned throughout

experience and time when a guy ask you

to go to his crib don't ever think that

it's like oh yeah go to the crib and

chill no it really means [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah

I never this learned it like I learned

it that day is that what those me those

heathens are out there doing Jesus oh my

right Joe you you I really thought we

were going to watch some Netflix or

something like get to know each other

little bit throughout the time I started

to realize like yo when a guy ask you to

chill in the crib that means just [ __ ]

like a tour of my house means a tour of

my house and that is it I normally call

women over don't even don't even and the

only reason I taketh off TR fck cuz it's

cuz I'm [ __ ] up the game now cuz I

know I

know yeah she got you Rory she knows

something on you damn it I I just like

to talk about my feelings when women

come over yeah I was thinking we might

talk about something but apparently no

well no you were in the middle of your

story right CU because you've built it

up so this got to have a big Kaboom to

end little simply just

[ __ ] 5

minutes the queen here we could be heing

the queen the queen has mad other [ __ ]

she be doing right now you're taking up

her time so finally he comes back after

10 minutes and he just looks at me

puzzled like what are you like what what

are you doing and I'm like I wasn't sure

what you meant he was like take your

clothes off I'm like all right where

you who made that Grill so I get butt

ass [ __ ] right and he gets butt now he

gets like socks off and everything like

he's completely naked you're completely

no I'm actually I have a shirt on

actually I have a shirt [ __ ] you [ __ ]

you so then we on the bed this is man

just standing there getting naked yeah

it was just basketball might the

greatest shirt to ever do it hey thank

you shirt [ __ ] him so then he was like

are you freaky or are you nasty and I

was like uh I'm a lady I don't know I'm

both like I don't even know the

difference I'm so not a lady hey are you

a lady no I'm not a lady so then he was

why would you think are you a human or a

man yo you got morals [ __ ] I don't know

y do you have morals hell no I ain't got

no morals I'm down for anything daddy oh

I love those [ __ ] shout out to y'all

man so then he was like um he's like I

like my nipples licked and I was like oh

okay the queen is not impressed so I was

like this is really bizarre I've never

done that before so I'm like licking his

nipp yeah cuz I'm like whatever we're

here now so I kind of felt like a cat

lapping at milk like it was just a very

strange like it just didn't feel

appropriate like I'm just like licking

his nipple I'm like I don't know if this

is turning him on cuz this is doing

nothing for me I feel really odd so then

I just start giving head whatever so

fast forward give him head then we have

sex or whatever wait how long were you

giving him head wait time out wait I

don't I don't get wait you just so you

stopped liing this nipple yeah you said

whatever whatever I started giving them

hit yeah then you said now fast forward

these kids might not know what fast

forward means cuz these iPods but I know

what it mean I was repeating myself you

said fast forward and I'm giving reting

how are you sucking this [ __ ] dick not

that long you know how fast fast forward

is [ __ ] no but I didn't fast forward

that long I went from head from nipple

to dick now we're [ __ ] right so then

no no but how long was this were you

sucking this gentleman's dick I would

say 15 sucking 15 sex then he came

that's a lot of time that's a lot of

time got to be trash no he actually

stopped me he was like [ __ ] so anyway it

got to be trash 15 minutes

of wait and then I still got 15 more on

the Str he came and then then he got

another

[ __ ] you anyway so then so then he was

like if I get my dick suck no we pausing

your story if I me my dick suck for 15

minutes my G that's not a long time I

think if a guy is getting here for 15

minutes that means that he been [ __ ]

a lot you know like a guy a guy will

come fast if he haven't been [ __ ] for

like a week fall asleep oh that's

probably why I don't relate cuz you know

what I mean what cuz I don't be funing a

lot oh please anyhow anyways but I feel

like if you have to suck dick for like

15 minutes like it's just like probably

he been [ __ ] [ __ ] every single day

yeah like you know let's find a

different start Point than you you all

right so you're on his nipple tell us

about all tongue right here so then he

was like um what nipple was it then he

was like can you suck my dick again I'm

like okay he's like oh then he's like

can you go lower and I'm like okay suck

my you think that's gay a guy getting

his ass L is that

gay guy getting his ass lck is that gay

I don't think it is but the way I don't

think that's gay how get to his wait

till you hear this story wait till you

hear how he want how he want this so I'm

like he wants his legs up listen listen

to this [ __ ] so then he was like did he

toot his ass in the air listen can I get

there so he was like he was like he's

like how do you want me and I'm like I

don't know what you mean like I've only

like yeah so he was like out out out out

time out now in my version of Marissa's

story as soon as this guy says how do

you want me Tupac and J toy how do you

want it come on from the surround how do

you want no he was actually

play how do you hey my story's way Doper

than yours if people are actually

hearing my good ad lies to this story

okay go ahead okay so I was like what do

you I don't know like he was on his back

at this time I'm like what else can you

do right like regular like he's regular

you know like as if he was getting head

like you just there so my tongue could

go

hey so then he so he lifts up his legs a

little bit he was like you know go ahead

and I'm like okay so then he stops me

he's like I'm going to make it easier

for you and I was like what do what do

you mean like I don't know how much

easier we could get he gets off the bed

he goes to the wall he turns around and

he puts his hands on the wall like he's

being searched by a cop and like to his

ass in the air can we get um and I was

like Lil Wayne and Bobby Val what is

happening right now like like a cop car

off

so I'm

like I'm

doing so so it's supposed when when a

guy going to get his ass eatting out

it's supposed to be like a surprise like

I don't like regular like your

right I just feel like

surpr so wait it gets worse it get worse

I know they got a head butt you ever

been butt buted I wish a [ __ ] would put

her [ __ ] face by my ass some surpris

yourong

go the ball as yourong go lower and you

all up in the

balls that [ __ ] going to get the

[Laughter]

[ __ ] that [ __ ] going to get put in the

Boston

crap [ __ ] talk about yeah surprise myy

ass no surprise [ __ ] my [ __ ] Foams

all right go ahead go ahead so then so

he's like wait wait wait I'm make it I'm

going make it even better and I'm like

oh we're getting better than this how

much better could it be don't tell me he

out that D no then he gets on the bed

right all fours toots his ass in the air

and was like okay so lick it but then

while you do that I need you to jerk my

dick with your right hand the dirty

trombone and then pull on it with your

left hand so mind you I can't even walk

and like chew gum at the same time so he

gave me like three different directions

I'm like what like there was so I'm like

like what is I can't do all this that

[ __ ] might be lit on a I was like I

don't even know I'm like trying so I'm

like breaking out in a

sweat

I'm what he you to

do I was a freak but you definitely take

a you definitely wait

because will be like

n so then I'm looking at the wall behind

me this is why this is why you never

send a DM again in your life like this

is what the [ __ ] you get for this [ __ ]

but you did it anyway I did of course

you did women always leave that part out

of the story so then so then he's like

okay so when I come this is what I want

I'm going to lay on my back you're going

to lick my wait time out time out he

still his not time out no this is his

second come now you're eating this guy's

ass his ass is in the air beating his

dick all of these different things but

wait when did when is he able to give

this instruction he's just talking while

he's down there he's not doing anything

with being on all fours right he's going

to be able to talk all the way n that's

a wild position my [ __ ] that you

talking about talk so he's like all I'm

going to flip over this is how I like it

so you got to lick my nipple and then

you got to jerk my dick and then I'm

going to film it but then when you're

going to watch me delete it too we're

just going to watch it back together but

then um and then you're going to give me

head while I when I come or something

like that and I'm like yo what so I'm

licking his back at it while he was no

he turned over so then he did that and

then he filmed it how the [ __ ] he

watched it like no he he got on his back

something tells me if he's on all fours

he doesn't mind looking

he got on his back I don't know if you

guys are missing this

part and then he filmed it that way

licking his nipple and then filmed it

and then then he deleted it and the

funny [ __ ] is like when you know when

delete it you can see the last picture

and he had like a love meme as like the

last thing that was before the video I'm

like this is so weird so we finish he

hands me Summer's Eve wipes and I'm like

I don't know why right what a gentleman

right so then so then he was like what a

classy guy he's like he's like so do you

have any kids and I'm like that's that

was his next question yes so I was like

no he's like uh is your father in your

life and I was like yeah he's like do

you have any friends with kids and I'm

like yeah he's like is their dad in

their life and I'm like n that's have

you seen American Psycho cuz this sounds

like a PL like mind you I'm like calling

my Uber right cuz it does not feel like

I'm like welcome there and then um after

you did all of that you don't feel

welcome n I'm better if I if out there

all of that I better sleep over right

have [ __ ] NE you just did all of that

and you don't feel well I just want to

get the [ __ ] that situation the whole

situation was weird as tell so then he

was like oh so um he's like do you have

friends with kids I'm like he he's like

is their father in their life and I'm

like yeah I was just actually in my

friend's wedding like she married her

daughter's father he's like oh do you

have pictures and I'm like what yeah so

I showed him like a couple pictures of

the wedding he's like oh that's so nice

and I'm like yeah this is great I don't

mean to cut you off uh you you said he

was shaving before yeah well since he

did all that I I have an idea of maybe

what he was shaving with what was he

shaving with Rory Joe do you have an

idea of what he was shaving with I don't

want to come behind that with the

bevel I'm not coming off motty uh being

doing the robot transform in the bedroom

that might be kind of lit though man I

got to find me a nin ining [ __ ] to just

[ __ ] do whatever I [ __ ] say hey

suck my toe [ __ ] now lick my nipple see

my balls what is he he's black see

that's why black men love white [ __ ]

because y'all be doing the Y extra cuz I

would have been like [ __ ] yo you're

bugging and th fart yo suck the fart f

like once a [ __ ] like getting his ass

licked and all that weird freaky [ __ ] he

don't even give a [ __ ] about head no

more see that's the [ __ ] I that don't

even make him come I kind of be

instructing like that during my face

time sex sessions yeah are you on all

fours during your FaceTime sexing no

[ __ ] and you looking like behind you

over your shoulder Notting it for the

laptop I'm like I'm like the

[ __ ] Steven Spielberg of

[ __ ] FaceTime sex M what about

shaving can you talk about [ __ ]

shaving please oh see that Segway is a

little better all right here we go this

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that was good yeah that was great that

was good thanks bro you might you might

get your ass eating off that

no no I play them foret to check your D

I play them ass you know what but to

answer your question cardi getting your

ass eight is not gay it's not not gay

right when you requested like that how

you get your ass gay makes you gay how

you get your ass that was gay that was

gay Z was gay but my thing is you you

shouldn't be allowed to speak of this

man in disgust I'm not hey I did it I

didn't take it she was speaking and

disgust it was just amaz like I don't

want no [ __ ] that ever came through and

did all that for me to leave and be

somewhere talking about yo that [ __ ]

Joe is super

gay I me personally I would just like to

have a better rapport with the [ __ ]

that get on Force he should have been

real nice with right you will blast him

is over yeah exactly luckily I never

will but I might have the question

[ __ ] talking about M's amazing head

though you 15 minutes whoa whoa get

dispel that you know what you can't you

can't because the thing is he he don't

like head he likes that other extra so

you know what in her defense the queen

her defense she brings us right back

full circle every time you lucky son

thank you Cen he's into other [ __ ]

y all right so I like Story Time with

Marissa yeah that was uh that was my

craziest moment in my life I've never

gone back to that kind of situation I

never sent another DM in my life after

that and I've never found myself in such

a shitty situation literally pun

intended so is anybody getting you