We The Hood

The thoughts, views, and opinions

expressed by this podcast whose bullets

hosts are for entertainment purposes

[music] only. I repeat, it is not

serious. It is not real. No one is

exposing, revealing, indicting or

telling you anything about themselves.

Also, we do not encourage you to try

this at home. We are trained

professionals who do not have your best

interest at heart or our own. Enjoy the

show.

[music]

>> [music]

>> Microphone check. What is this?

JB [music]

back to business

right now. We should start the show.

[laughter]

>> That's the nest, right? The temperature.

That's a nest. You don't use off on a

nest. Dodo. Yeah. You don't not supposed

to do that.

>> Yeah. Especially in the winter time.

>> Cory didn't have options in jail.

[laughter] They didn't have the jail

nest.

>> He trying to get it to feel like jail.

Jail was the nest.

>> Was the nest. [laughter]

>> Jail was the nest. Cory, get some good

central air, man.

[snorts]

>> Well, she might have liked that,

>> right? She's [laughter] right.

>> That's why she left.

>> The way Joe talks.

>> It wasn't quite [laughter]

>> I wish y'all stopped dating chicks that

listen to the pod. Then they won't have

to worry about it. That's the easiest

way for them. That's the easiest way.

>> I'm talking mind going to listen to it

in my face. And she

>> just listen to it at the party.

>> I know. I'm telling [laughter] you.

She's a lunatic.

>> I turned around and heard it. I thought

it was one of my people. I was so

embarrassed. I thought it was some of

our people doing it on the load. I was

like, "Okay, it's your [laughter]

>> We're going to get embarrassed about it.

We're going to get to it."

>> Yeah. Don't you worry, buddy. [laughter]

Don't you worry.

>> Yeah. It don't matter. If she missed the

whole week, she going to catch up right

in front of y'all.

>> Uh,

>> did we turn the air on P?

>> Yeah.

>> Oh my gosh. Man,

>> hot as in here.

>> Word.

>> How y'all feeling?

>> Feeling great. How are you?

>> Good. Good.

>> It's good to see you.

>> Knees still [ __ ] up, but you know,

I'll maintain

>> from squat. From squatting, right?

>> We on another episode, Joe. We on

another episode.

>> Freeze. What [ __ ] up, gang? [laughter]

>> My my knee.

>> How your knee got [ __ ] up, Lord?

>> What [laughter] you did? You tripped

>> getting low

and low.

>> Getting low pass the grass, right?

[laughter]

>> Who else? You fell.

>> No, I didn't.

>> She gave out on you.

>> Yeah, she gave out

>> in front of his girl trainer, too. What

a

>> Who was spotting you? No, it wasn't.

>> Oh, he don't got a girl trainer.

>> He do got a girl trainer.

>> Freezing.

>> Man, we already discussed.

>> He's got a girl trainer.

>> Yeah. Is

>> you LOST WEIGHT TOO, BOY? I SEE YOU. HE

TRYING TO C slap you, [ __ ] You lost

weight.

>> There you go. [laughter] Yeah, something

that flipped on threaten is

>> Yo, [clears throat] come on, man. YO,

[laughter] WHAT'S WRONG? HEY YO, STOP

IT. I SAW YOU, BOY. YOU WANT THAT?

>> YOU LOOKING GOOD. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

>> TRYING TO GET LOOK GOOD FOR THE 50. IF I

THROW THAT,

>> hey honey, YOU DON'T GOT TO LEAVE ME. I

STILL GOT IT. SHE AIN'T GOING TO LEAVE

YOU. YOU GOT IT. Right on. Right on.

>> You look like you lost weight though

since the last.

>> Look good, bro. [clears throat]

>> Yo, shut up. [laughter]

Is it the sweater or you wearing like a

girdle underwear? What do you got?

[laughter]

>> If you got it, that's that is fah.

[laughter]

>> Word is born.

>> He's trying to scale his business.

[laughter]

>> Oh yeah. That's that is faith stuck

>> for males and females.

>> And then you start visiting recovery

houses like it's investfest.

>> Oh yeah.

>> Hey, I just walked in here and make sure

[laughter] everything is good.

>> Serenity stay.

Yeah, you know the vibe.

>> A fool.

>> Oh, man. All right. Good times. Good

times. We got a fun board, man. That boy

that board looks like some sometimes the

topic God's bless you, man.

>> Ain't nothing serious up there. It's all

[ __ ]

>> And I'm with it.

>> Absolutely.

>> I'm with it. So with no further ado,

[screaming]

microphone check. One, two. What is

this?

>> Let's keep this applause going real

quick.

Another daddy

coming.

Who is that? [clears throat]

>> It's Mark Hill. [ __ ] [ __ ]

>> Hey, Big Flip in the building.

Microphone check. One, two. Happy

holidays to everybody out there. So

happy you could be here with us today.

Uh, what episode is this?

>> 881. Welcome to episode 881 of the JBP

brought to you by fuel by power by prize

prize pitch gang. I'm your humble

gracious really happy to be here host

here with the best crew in the world to

my right. You know the vibes. Queens get

the money. Queens flip is in the

building. Next to him our good brother

Dark Lamont Hill is in the building.

Next to him big is Mr. Thousand Doors in

and up is in the building. Next to him

the freeziest of them all. Big freeze is

in the building. tried to catch it with

the Scully jersey and Air Maxes. I see

him. I see him right there next to him.

Huh? King of Elmyra. Big Parks is in the

building. Po is in the building. Cory's

in the building. Erikson is here. Tanner

and Savon we going to get to later.

Savon unfortunately.

Unfortunately,

we got to we got to

>> the gig is the gig. It hurts.

>> It does.

>> It hurts when you got to play it. When

you got to queue it up for somebody you

love, man. Last but uh not least,

certainly each and every one of you guys

out there are here. How's everybody

doing? What's popping? Feeling great.

>> Everything good, man. Everything good.

>> Good to see all of y'all.

>> Yeah. Happy to be back.

>> Good, good, good, good, good. Good to

see you.

>> Been chilling, man. You know, been in

Chinatown for a little bit.

>> Nobody has nobody has nothing [laughter]

about let you know where you been. China

was doing. But I see I know you

watching. The numbers is up. So I know

you would watch when the numbers is up.

Even if it's low, you'll watch.

>> What you talking about? I watch [ __ ]

with with a view.

>> I watch [ __ ] with 600 views.

[laughter]

>> I mean, it works. It feels good to be

outside. Thank you.

>> And we was Well, hold up, hold up, hold

up, cuz don't do that. We was just mad

friendly too.

>> We was just vibing. Happy to see each

other, loving on each other. Soon as the

mic cut on, you I came here to work.

Came get straight to work. You know what

I'm saying? Got to count on your boy.

We're good, good, good, good. I

appreciate that. How y'all feeling?

What's up?

>> Feeling great, man. Feeling good, man.

I'd ask how everyone's weekend was, but

>> we spent a lot of it together and we're

going to get to that. But I guess I ish.

How was your weekend?

>> How was your weekend? It was good.

Chill.

>> I caught that [ __ ] too. I checked. I

texted you, [ __ ]

>> See where you at?

>> To me, [ __ ] I'm lying.

>> You was You was home. I text you.

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, you did. You did.

>> You look tired. [clears throat]

>> You [ __ ]

>> Nah, working like crazy. I ain't go to

bed till like 4:00.

>> You doing the work yourself, right? To

to lose the weight. [laughter]

>> HEY, PABLO, GIVE ME THAT. LET ME HOLD

THE SHEET ROCK UP AND SHOW YOU HOW IT'S

DONE.

trying to show in front of Pablo.

[laughter] I hate [ __ ] like that.

>> Idiot, bro.

>> I do it myself. One of them [ __ ] You

do it yourself ass [ __ ]

>> All right. [clears throat]

>> It was good. You was good.

>> Yeah, of course.

>> Okay. Get some rest, man.

>> Well, we're starting with Mark.

>> Yeah.

>> I don't know. I don't I don't quite know

>> where exactly to start.

>> Well, just let me say thank y'all. We

had a uh

>> Thank you. Actually, no. Thank you, my

brother.

>> We'll start. We're going to start with

love. Thank you.

>> I had a Friendsgiving this weekend.

>> Uh, invited everybody through. Uh, and

uh, we had a good time.

>> And [ __ ] came.

>> [ __ ] came.

>> See, inviting inviting people is one

thing. That's just like some courtesy.

We being nice.

>> [ __ ] came.

>> I was very happy to see y'all. Very,

very sincerely happy to see y'all, man.

>> I was already in Jersey and I had a

family event to go to, so I was like,

"Oh, this is perfect. I'll go right to

Marks afterwards."

>> Finished a little early at the event. M.

>> So I'm like, if I time this out now,

I'll get to Mark's at 6,

>> which is when

>> the time he said it starts.

>> I don't want to do that. [laughter]

>> I I asked Mark, I said, "Yo,

>> I know you said six. What time to show

up?" He was like, "Niggas ain't going to

really get there like 7 8." I was like,

"Say less. I'm not coming before."

>> But But you didn't get there at 7 or 8.

>> I got there at 8.

>> No, you didn't.

>> Yes, I did.

>> It might have been 8.

>> I feel like I said seven, but

>> you said at 78.

>> No, you stepped. Y'all stepped. We

didn't step. Y'all stepped. It was like

8:45. No. Get the [ __ ] [laughter] out of

here. No, it wasn't. I had no [ __ ] with

No, we talking about all this [ __ ] cuz I

said, "Yo, Ice makes an appearance

outside. Y'all don't know outside Ice."

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Ice come in on some. You know what I

mean?

>> Work Ice show up at 10:29 in 59 seconds.

>> But outside ice

>> because work Ice is by himself.

>> Ah, that's a fact.

>> Pass that buck. I see what you shout to

miss in peace. [laughter]

>> Shout out to Miss P. Anyway,

>> so I hit the group chat early to to Ice

and Joe like what time y'all getting

there? Cuz I don't want it to be me,

Rem, and Dr. Cornell West sitting on the

[laughter] couch,

drinking wine, talking about the

politics of [laughter]

But I got there like maybe 6:30 and it

was it was a packed house, man. Full

full of beautiful people. Everyone was

very kind and nice. The food was

delicious.

>> It was amazing.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Is that the end of your first

assessment? Oh. Uh, [laughter]

actually, let me backtrack a little bit

cuz I wanted to show up with something.

So, I went to one liquor store, they

didn't have [ __ ] Went to another liquor

store, was closed. Went to the third

liquor store and it's a typical Jersey

like hood liquor store.

>> Yes.

>> I was like, I there's no way I can show

up with a bottle of Hennessy to this

party. I'm going to be the only white

person. This is going to look absolutely

horrible.

>> Horrible if I show up. But you could y

[laughter]

>> n

drink. It would have been for me

[laughter]

though.

>> That's funny.

>> That was hilarious though.

>> Let the Hennessy be there already.

>> Yeah. He can't bring the Hennessy.

>> Parks coming in with the So what did you

go with?

>> I found some wine.

>> You found some nice red wine.

>> All right.

And Henny or No.

>> No. No. No. Okay.

>> I banked on maybe there might be some

there.

>> It was.

>> And there was. My plan was to stop at a

liquor store cuz you say we had to bring

nothing but it said if you want to bring

some wine and spirits then

>> you got to show up with a bottle or

something. [laughter]

>> I think so. And Park Parks is good at

that. Like he was raised right. Like

I'll forget.

>> Me too.

>> And feel like I love the person so much

that they know that I forgot.

>> So I'll forget.

>> And then when I put the address in that

[ __ ] was like

>> it was a little minute.

>> You said you like yo [ __ ] farther than I

thought.

>> This is further than I thought. And I

knew Parks was there already. I went up

in the cabinet and seen what I had up in

there. Man, I knew I had some fire in

there. Gave Gave it right.

>> Which you did.

>> That was my game plan.

>> Which you did.

>> I'm I'm I'mma bring I'm I'mma bring some

fire. It's not

>> It was open already.

>> No, [laughter]

you would think so. You think so, right?

>> I'm just asking.

>> No, no, no.

>> That's what I did. I went in the

cabinet.

>> I tried to, but I forgot. So,

>> okay. I get to it.

>> I get there.

I'm ringing the bell. Dingdong.

>> Nice house, by the way.

>> Beautiful house.

>> Beautiful home.

>> I thought it was pretty funny that the

uh basketball hoop was set to like five

[laughter] 5 foot five.

>> Well, Mark went to get up out there

>> cuz Marcus 5' three, so I was like,

[laughter] it's perfect. Perfect.

Perfect.

>> Yeah.

>> I'm ringing the bell. Ding dong. Ringing

the bell. Ding dong. I hear people

having a good time in there, but

nobody's answering the door. Finally, uh

somebody else, uh I forgot her name, but

she was so sweet. She came behind was

like, "The door's probably open." I was

like, "I've never been here. I'm not

just walking in somebody [ __ ] You do

it. You do it." All right. So, she

walked in. We walked in. And boy, when I

tell y'all,

where do I start here? You could just

feel the education, y'all. [laughter]

That's all I felt. That's all I felt

when I walked in. This was the first

time I ever went to a function and all

of the people in a packed house. Nobody

looked up to say hi or introduce

themselves. Everybody was in the middle

of a deep philosophical Albert Einstein.

Fix my [ __ ] Here we go. Albert Einstein

type of talk. They didn't care who was

coming in. They was trying to figure out

the future of gravity and [ __ ]

[laughter]

>> For real. No, he not. Yo, he's he's dead

ass. Like exact same thing happened to

us on the walkin. Ringing the bell.

Ringing the bell. But nobody walked up.

I'm looking at shorty like, "Yo, damn.

The door might be open." But I ain't

doing that out here.

>> It's loud in there. You can hear the

music.

>> It was the music. That's

>> I'm like, "Yeah,

>> all right. I just turned the All right,

it's open. Come on."

>> All All Mark's friends and family and

all Mark's wife's friends and everybody

that was there.

Look, PhD down.

>> Oh, for sure. We going to get We going

to get into the

>> PhD

down. I tell you, I never rushed to find

parks so fast. [laughter]

>> I rushed in there and was like, "Where

is Parks and Rim?

>> [laughter]

>> WE DID THE SAME [ __ ] I walk in, I look

to the right, and what you got like a

study or something over there?

>> This house is a study.

>> So, it's two dudes over there. Look like

they breaking down the theory of

relativity and [ __ ] I'm like, "Oh, no."

>> I'm like, "Yo, we First thing, where is

Parks? [laughter]

>> I don't know where I'm about to text

y'all. Where are you just happen to walk

by? What I say to you?

>> Where y'all at? [laughter]

>> Save us." So, we find Parks. Parks at

the table with the smart people.

So now, so we walk over there, we made

friends,

>> but it's no cheers if you don't have a

PhD. [laughter]

>> Yeah, I'm dead ass. If you don't have

your diploma on you, like a passport,

[laughter] some type of a college prove

it showing a GPA, YOU CAN'T SIT DOWN.

>> PULL THE APPLE OFF OF SALT.

>> SO FINALLY, ONE OF my cool [ __ ] was

like, "Yo, y'all want y'all want me to

get up? I I'll sit down." Like, "All

right, cool. We going to go get some

food." Food was amazing. It really was.

Chef's chef's kiss to the food laid out

all over the island. Anything you wanted

to have. Devild eggs was great.

Everything in there was good.

>> Shout out to It's all love. The Jersey

people, Tiffany Mack, they uh they they

supplied the food. They were dope.

>> I got my plate. Well, my girl made my

plate.

>> Mhm.

>> She mad at me because the whole time,

well, she always mad at me, but before

we get there, she like, "Yo, what do I

wear?"

>> And I'm like, "Yo, it's Friendsgiving.

Like, who cares what you wear?" And she

get Oh my god. They I feel like they

going to blame you no matter what. Oh my

god. I feel so out of place. Girl, go

make the [ __ ] plate. Everyone dress

the same. Everyone was she was I think

she was tripping too. She was going to

do that. The girls going to trip. She

going to make the plate. She come back.

So now I'm eating at the table at the

seat where homie gave me a seat. But now

I can look around also.

I didn't look around before.

>> But I want to give you the tour back cuz

we couldn't.

>> This [ __ ] so stupid.

>> I took a tour myself.

>> Oh yeah. Parker is walking around. I

appreciate that.

>> It's your wish.

>> Got to peek around. See what your man's

up to. [laughter]

>> I'm not looking.

>> Oh, please. Please.

>> I wish you would have.

I wish you would have love.

>> He was asking for you. So, when I

started looking around,

>> I noticed the bookshelf in the living

room is no TV. I don't know.

>> Ain't no TV. That's a dumb idiot box.

[laughter]

>> In Mark House, the TV is idiot box. It's

just a big bookshelf, right? I start

looking on the walls and painting the

colors on the walls. Very nice.

>> All Yeah. Like the finest Muslim

painters came over here and red, great

green. It was tribal [ __ ] on the wall.

The curtains had African symbolism

[laughter] on it. I said, "Oh [ __ ] WE

MADE IT BACK."

I said, "YO, WE [laughter]

GO. WE

>> GO

TO BE BLACK." YO. YO, Mark House.

[laughter]

>> Did y'all look at the bookshelves?

>> Yes.

>> Yes. Yes.

>> I felt like on I felt like I was in an

episode of like African Fresh Prince.

You know how when Will brought his

Philly friends, they came over and to

see how he was living? I felt like Mark

had brought his ghetto friends in.

>> We going to get to that part, bro. We

going to get to that.

>> All right. So cool. So the whole house

African black down like

>> like

So then I looked at the tie and I'm

sitting next to Parks [laughter]

>> looking comfortable too next to vibing

>> and I'm like oh [ __ ]

>> You ain't black.

>> Might be the second white person ever.

[laughter]

>> I don't know how many white people have

ever came. I don't know how many white

people don't look like a white friendly

house. [laughter] They don't look no

like a white friendly house. It didn't

look like that. IT WAS COOL. EVERYBODY

WAS COOL.

>> I'M JUST I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE until I

noticed.

>> I noticed on the walk in this is a black

ass house.

>> That's one of the black [laughter]

black.

>> No, that's one of the blackest houses I

ever seen. I I ain't going to hold you,

but it's on brand. It totally makes

sense.

>> It's beautiful. Beautiful.

>> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So, I

made the mistake

of asking,

"Hey, do you have a deck of cards?"

>> Oh, man. Right off the rip kind of too.

I'm not going to lie. You got right to

speeds.

>> You got right to it. I didn't know what

else to do. It wasn't a television.

>> That's true.

>> I think it was right behind you, by the

way, in that other room in the

>> room where I wasn't allowed in.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> That was the secret meeting.

>> You're talking about VIP. [laughter]

>> Oh, that's what I POKED MY HEAD IN

THERE. I WAS LIKE, "I'M NOT WELCOME.

>> YOU CAN'T WALK IN.

>> I'm not welcome."

>> I was about to walk in. The whole room

looked at me like, "Boy, you better not

[laughter] walk. You ain't got no

diploma on you.

Drop out. Let me see your Let me see

your papers, nigga."

>> Yeah, I didn't. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I

wasn't walking in that room. But anyway,

uh I mean, you can jump in here if you

want.

>> Nope. I got nothing. [laughter]

Okay, so Joe throws down the gauntlet. I

was not expecting this. He said, "You

know what up with a game of spades?"

Now, I was already looking to move away

to the next room to kind of not have

them heavy conversations.

>> So, heavy conversations.

>> Oh, everybody was chill. They weren't

really having heavy conversations. Just

look like it. They definitely look like

[ __ ] just talking. Some of them people

were like just Yeah, they weren't even

that whatever. But

>> so Joe challenged me to a game of

spades. [clears throat]

>> So, I ain't never looking away from a

challenge. He said, "I don't want to

pull you away from your your your

people. I know you you hosting. You

know, you might I said

>> I did say that to him. I gave him an

out.

>> Yeah,

>> I gave him an out. Yo, you hosting my

>> might might be busy.

>> I don't want to pull you away from

nothing you doing. The wife is here.

Like, I don't want You know what I mean?

>> Yeah.

>> I don't want to do that. He insists.

>> I do insist. So, but you didn't have a

partner.

And I wasn't sure if my partner was

>> clearly didn't need one. [laughter]

>> Yeah.

>> And I And I wasn't sure if my partner

was available.

>> He was in the room, but he was tied up

talking.

>> And this is your partner partner. This

is your normal. This is the person who

I've been playing with for the last 10

years.

>> Okay, I have thoughts. Yeah,

>> George.

>> Shout out to George.

>> I'm sorry, George, in advance for what's

going to come your way.

>> Great guy, smart guy, really important

lawyer, housing lawyer in New York, you

know, very important, keeping poor

people in their houses and [ __ ]

>> And he said, "I'm down."

>> Okay.

So, you had an advantage cuz you got

your your your your normal partner.

>> You would think.

>> I'm just painting the scene.

>> Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

>> Okay.

>> Did you have your normal partner, Joe?

>> No, me and Cory played.

>> Okay.

>> He played with Cory. I was trying to

pull my other guy in, my man Justin, cuz

he was uh he the one who runs Uncle

Bobby's and he shout Justin. Shout out

to Justin. Super cool. Super cool dude.

>> And his wife.

>> And he was I was like Oh, yeah. His

wife's cool too, Kesha.

>> So, I was like, Jess, why don't you play

with me? Because you know, George is a

little tied up.

>> And he said, "Fuck no, [laughter]

because if we lose,

>> I'm going to be content next week."

>> Yeah. He was smart.

He was one of the smarter brothers in

your house that day.

>> Yeah. Yeah. He was like, "I don't want

no parts of this."

>> It It hurt me how he thought the content

would go. He was like, "Joe going to

come in there. ONE OF MARK'S SUCKER ASS

FRIENDS TRIED TO SIT." BUT NO, EVERYBODY

WAS the impersonation down.

>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] He did. He was

good. But we So we start playing. We go

to the basement. We go to the basement.

What? Had to take y'all to the basement

to play cards.

>> Yeah, we'll get to all that [laughter]

later.

>> You take that [ __ ] [ __ ] downstairs.

>> He was very happy to have the likes of

us out [laughter] of

>> No idea how happy it was to get to the

basement cuz So I had nothing to do with

the house

>> in terms of deck. My wife is good at all

that [ __ ] Only room I have

responsibility for

>> is the man cave

>> is the basement. [laughter]

>> Yeah.

>> And beautiful basement for But you see,

it's very different than the rest of the

house.

>> Yes. Yeah. It's got Philly sports [ __ ]

pool, all that kind of [ __ ] So So we

down there and I'm like, "Okay, God, I

got my people now. We can get this game

on."

>> My people is a little

>> Okay. [laughter]

[laughter]

Fair enough. Fair enough. Well, we went

down there. We We was getting a couple

people came down. People who wanted to

watch this big game cuz they heard the

[ __ ] talking. I'm talking [ __ ]

>> Actually, I'll tell a lot of people came

down.

>> They did.

>> Yeah. A lot of people came down to

witness.

>> A lot of people came down. Lot of

witnesses around this spade table.

>> Y'all want to SEE A DEAD BOTTOM?

[laughter]

>> I MEAN, it's almost like they knew. It

felt like they knew.

>> They're rooting. Now, mind you, THEY'RE

ROOTING FOR JOE.

>> I was going to say they wanted to see

Mark fail.

>> THEY DID. THEY ABSOLUTELY PART OF IT IS

BECAUSE I I we usually win and I talk a

lot of [ __ ] and I make people remember

it for the rest of the year cuz we used

to do like New Year [ __ ] like that. So,

they absolutely were rooting for Joe

Anwine. [laughter]

We sit down.

>> You should have been there. You

>> Yo, audience out there, listen to me. I

told I told Mark that there's levels to

play in spades. Oh boy. I did for weeks,

MONTHS EVEN. MY DAD CAME HERE.

>> Just came.

>> Gave him food. [laughter]

>> Told him this is not really what you

want, son. Mark don't give a [ __ ] We

sit down. Mark plays Spades like he went

to college.

>> [laughter]

>> Mark played Spades like like they had a

cool [ __ ] dorm room somewhere and

that's where they learn how to play.

>> I played spades with contracted killers

from all over the world. Senior

citizens. [ __ ] is 89. They don't don't

remember nothing but cards.

>> All the [ __ ] that [laughter] All the

[ __ ] that went to jail. Yeah. The

[ __ ] that did 30 years. I play cards.

I used to pull up two colleges

just to play cards.

>> Shout out to the [ __ ] at Willie P.

Hey, we used to do all of that. Mark and

his partner sit down. The first thing

his partner say is, "Are are we playing

blind?"

[laughter]

>> You look at him like he blind.

>> You look at you look at Mark like and

this is with who you say place your

>> I said cuz that's that's how people

play.

>> No.

>> No, that's not how people play.

>> No. So this is what Joe did. Joe says,

"What's the house rules?" And every time

we told him a house rule, he would go,

>> "No." [laughter]

>> You can't ask the house rules.

>> Four aces get 100 points. [laughter]

ish. He said, "Do y'all play blinds?" I

said, "No." He said, "Do you play?"

>> And that was for y'all.

>> He said, "Do you play bags?"

>> I said, "No, we play adult spades." He

said, "Do we do y'all play nil?" I said,

"No." I said, "I don't even know what

nil is."

>> I said, "Do you do Tim 10 books 200?"

Like, what's going on? We get to the

bottom of it. Finally, we land on two

sticks man.

>> Finally, we land on again. I played for

money. He played in [ __ ] Oh, not DVR.

He went to some good school. Boston

College. [laughter]

>> Boston College. Landed.

>> It's a good school. It is a good school.

>> It is a good school. [laughter]

>> Listen, I say I play lock bids.

>> Oh god.

>> Once you bid, whoever bid first, you bid

is down. We'll bid second is down.

That's the end.

>> It ain't a whole bunch of discussion.

Mark and his partner say, "Well, we

play. Once you bid, you can go up." I

I've I've played that way. Everybody in

the room said that. Many people play

that way. I played it before. I've never

played that way.

>> It's just not professional.

>> I've never played that. I I play with

Nils though. But

>> cuz if you CUZ IF YOU'RE PLAYING for

money and one team bid first, they bid

call it a board five. Uh the other team

bid six. Now the other team get to go

back and change their bid. That's weird.

>> So if you're an audience,

>> you don't bid them, you don't get them.

You don't you don't have to

part of playing spades is how you bid

your hand, how you count your books. It

ain't now I get to but cool. We played

in MARK WAY. SO EVERY TIME THEY COULD GO

UP, they was going up. I'M GOING TO TRY

TO KEEP THIS VERY LOW.

>> We did it one time.

>> Y'all did IT EVERY TIME. Y'ALL DID IT

EVERY TIME. YOU [ __ ] BUMS. BUT

[laughter]

BUT IT'S FINE. WE DID ALLOW THE CAR.

FIRST HAND BIT ITSELF.

>> YEAH.

>> Some more kindergarten [ __ ] but cool.

I'm down to do it.

>> THAT WAS CORY'S IDEA.

>> NO, he asked.

>> I asked. He asked

>> YOU INTRODUCE YOU SAID DO FIRST hand bit

him itself. We say yeah I would say yeah

BUT IT'S COOL FIRSTAND BIT ITSELF.

>> I WAS HONORING YOU

>> IN THE HANDED BIT ITSELF THEY GOT IT.

>> YEAH.

>> He the bum GET LIKE HE GETTING SPADES

WHOLE HANDFUL OF SPADES. THE FIRST FIVE

HAND six hands

>> boy when they start collecting the first

hand bit itself books. He was talking

mad [ __ ] And I'm like yo Mark I never

it's the first hand of the first game

and you didn't even bid it. I've seen

this type before.

>> There's no strategy there.

>> I know this [ __ ]

>> There's always a strategy.

>> I've seen this type of this specific

type of bum.

>> It was a bad strategy.

>> The specific type of bum.

>> I've seen I MET THIS BUM BEFORE.

[laughter]

>> So I'm saying so we letting it go. OUR

OUR FIRST FOUR bids board

five to push it. These [ __ ] is dancing

around. Yo, YOU WANT TO TAKE A SEVEN?

YO, YOU WANT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? YOU

WANT TO DO all the [laughter]

>> We were two hands away from winning.

>> Did you win?

>> No, no. I'M JUST SAYING THIS I'M I'M SO

I'M SAYING LOOK [laughter] BECAUSE I'VE

DONE THIS A LOT. I SAY TO HIM I LOVE

MARK. I SAY TO HIM,

>> "YO, and I ain't going to keep y'all

on." I say to him, "Dog, the second that

this seat does something different than

it's doing with these ends curtains.

>> This is not gonna go good." Cuz y'all

not good.

>> We set y'all.

>> They not good.

>> That's not true.

>> They not They not George. They not good

at all. Bad. Bad. Like really as bad as

I thought he would be is how bad they

are. Sure enough, as God would have it,

>> here come a seven.

>> Somewhere around the six [laughter]

starting.

Yo, I'M TALKING MARK IS THE TYPE OF bum

the seven of spades was walking like

they they just stupid [ __ ] is happening

now on the board cuz [ __ ] is bums.

>> The seven of spades was walking.

>> Yes. Yes. Horribly. But anyway, it don't

matter.

>> They stuck.

>> We soon as I get a hand, they stuck.

>> We lost.

>> And now we commence

>> for the rest of the night

>> cuz when you play bad, you get bad

hands.

>> And and then the cards changed and their

fate changed. And it was bad. All his

friends, cousins, aunts, the barber,

everybody he knew was behind him

cheering for us. It got to the point

they were celebrating, even making their

bid.

>> That's what we knew. It was bad. It was

bad. When I walked in, y'all was already

playing. But in that game where y'all

jumped up and y'all slapping fives,

Y'ALL. YEAH. YEAH. WHAT? I TOLD YOU. I

SAID, "WHAT HAPPENED? Y'all won." And

Joel was like, "No, we got six."

But we pulled a rabbit out of a hat. We

weren't supposed to get it and we got

it.

>> But y'all lost that game.

>> No, no, I'm just telling. I just made

the book.

>> Y'all had 11. Y'all just play bad.

>> Y'all just play back. So you got seven.

>> That's not what happened. See? See?

>> So in one specific hand, and then I'm

shutting up. [laughter]

We bid first.

I got all the heat. Cory say he got one

in the pot. We'll go eight.

They already got a stick or some [ __ ]

funny [ __ ] going on. We go eight. His

partner George feeling himself. Give us

the five. Mind you, I told him I had

one. I told him I had one has one. He

said he takes the five. I stop it

because I love Mark. He's been such a

great addition to this podcast.

[laughter]

I stop it. I say, "Yo, just so you know,

where I'm from, that is a sign of

disrespect."

>> Score the score. Go.

>> Oh, yes. I said, "Where I'm from, that

is a sign of disrespect. If I go eight,

just take the board."

>> Five means you think I'm stuck and you

you lack respect for me as a space

player. But male pride, male ego. George

was tipsy by then. He puts the five

down. I might have made 11 books. I

think

>> like that's how bad they might have made

like 11.

>> I think it was 11. I think it was

>> it was something absolutely ridiculous.

Then they left never to be seen or heard

from again. And I'm only telling this

long exaggerated story to let the

audience know. Mark in spades

discussions officially done.

>> I disagree.

>> Officially over.

>> Because

>> it's okay, brother. You brilliant.

>> I want to hear. Let me say

>> you are a brilliant brother. You speak

all over the world. Like you got a good

life.

>> You got a beautiful home. We First of

all we

>> You don't need to be good at You bad at

[ __ ]

>> I make a lot of [ __ ]

>> There's something that you bad at.

>> Spades is I'm not bad at spades.

[laughter]

We lost. We got outplayed. We did get

outplayed. I ain't going to deny that.

Um we lost because we got Well, I ain't

going, you know, I'm not going to do

that. I told we said over the weekend I

was going to throw George under the bus.

>> Yeah.

>> You can't be that guy.

>> I'm not going to throw George.

>> No. No. I team.

>> All I'm going to say is I lose you lose.

>> We we we over bid

>> and we shouldn't. And there you only

play two. We y'all played two sets and

you and you done.

>> Yeah. Two sets.

>> I'm telling you play three. But it's

cool. Like

>> see even that. You hear him?

>> I play 500.

>> We play three. Who play 500?

>> Even that you hear him. He play like a

real third grade space.

>> Three sticks. 500. We ain't got time.

[ __ ] got necks and [ __ ] got money.

>> And that and that's two sticks.

>> And I'm good with that. When what he's

leaving out is they got stuck too. We

were up most of the game, then we got

set, then they got set, and then whoever

got set next was going to win the game.

Nobody made it to 350.

>> You know what I'm saying? And and we

made a bad play. We lost.

>> You would think they was whooping our

ass the whole game, which isn't what

happened. Now, the second game, No, no.

The second game was a molly.

>> The first game they bumped heads on

Jokers.

>> Yeah. He one of them [ __ ] they don't

even want to play the spades. They want

to hold him to the end. They hold him to

the end. As soon as I said, I don't have

no hands. So boy, when the hands start

chasing Oh, these [ __ ] [laughter] WANT

TO FACE [laughter]

YOU [ __ ] ASS [ __ ] I hate these

[ __ ]

>> I'm going let him tell the story that

way cuz he won. I'm going to let you

tell the story that way cuz you won.

>> Good game though. Y'all won.

>> But I would like a rematch

>> and a new partner.

>> You said that [ __ ] too.

>> That's your partner though. So no

disrespect to George.

>> A here comes disrespect

George like that. HE FOLD. NO, HE GOT A

little nervous under the lights.

>> No, don't do that.

>> In In 10 years, listen to me. In 10

years, he has We have We have never

>> I ain't going We rarely get set. He He

He You You made him go from four to

five.

>> I saw that one.

>> Yeah. And that happened twice. I've

never seen that happen.

>> I told you. I was like, "That's a sign

of a bad player."

>> Yeah, it is.

>> If you can let the other team,

>> bro, if you can't count and that's why

you're not supposed to go up, count your

books based on what you see in your

hand.

But when but then what happened was we

said I said I ain't got nothing I got

one

>> right

>> go let me finish the sentence I said

let's go board amateur talk

>> he says to the boy he says to him if you

call if you go if you go five I'm taking

it as disrespect

>> so now now he got to DISRESPECT

>> NOW HE GOT HE'S LIKE I NOW I GOT TO GO

FIVE

>> OR YOU CAN MAKE THE BOOKS THAT ARE in

your hand

>> I'm with you [laughter]

like I said I'm with you that's my point

>> but the [ __ ] said he got 11 anyway so

y'all a shot regardless.

>> They didn't play well either.

>> I only had one book. I had no control

over this.

>> Yeah, but even if y'all went bored,

y'all would have still lost.

>> Maybe I think I think we But maybe

>> we hit the group chat about it.

>> Anyway, it's cool.

>> Yo, if you're listening at home, I'm

telling you once again, like I told this

brilliant [ __ ] I'm like that.

>> Damn.

>> I'm like that. Like Reddit pulled up the

trophies for this bum ass brilliant

[ __ ] He seen it. My dad came. If any

one of y'all want to yo, fly up, lock

in. I mean, get you an Amtrak ticket and

have some money at you, man. Be ready to

lock in at least three, four hours. I'm

I'm really this. I'm really that.

>> Next game for money.

>> No, Mark. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not

doing that to you.

>> I will not do that.

>> We're not playing for for millions. Next

game for money,

>> Mark, please. No. Please. I'm telling

you.

>> Next game for money. See,

>> you left that thinking that you would

fare better on another outing.

[laughter]

I feel I feel very confident.

>> Hey, he's delusional.

>> Maybe we'll find out.

>> Me and Cory,

>> we'll find out.

>> All right, we'll find out.

>> My dad would love to hear that.

>> Yeah, I love

>> And you do got enough money. You live in

a nice little neighborhood.

>> It's nice over there.

>> Oh, you got a nice little You can Yeah,

you got a couple dollar.

The group chat like, "Yo, this [ __ ]

Hollywood Hills. I didn't even know they

had a Hollywood Hills in Jersey.

>> Bad ass like Hollywood. There's no

lights or nothing up there." I'm like,

"Oh shit." [laughter]

>> I told you.

>> It is a hill.

>> Yeah,

>> I told you. I went outside to get

something from the car. I heard the

neighbors start locking their doors.

[laughter]

>> Hold on. I'm going get to the neighbors

when we left.

>> So, in the basement after the spade

game, all Mark friends eventually go

back to having a great time and Mark's

friends giving upstairs

>> and it's just me and my girl and Parks

and his wife and Ice and his girl

>> and we just down there.

>> Mhm.

>> And I asked these people, I said, "Yo,

>> no, no, no."

Ice started saying, "Hey, remember when

Mark said that there be three?" Or was

it either? No. Joe said Joe said, "Yo,

Mark said three." What? What? No. What

friend groups did Mark say was going to

be here? That's what he said.

>> And I said, "Mark, where the other ones

at?"

>> Mark said [laughter] I'm like, "Mark

said the He said his wife's friends were

all cool and they could they could float

back and forth." He said he had three

groups of friends. He had the the smart

nerd educated ones academic. He had the

cool kids.

>> Yeah.

>> And then he had the hood.

>> Yeah.

>> And we sat there for a second

>> and looked around and was like, "Oh

[ __ ] he talking about us.

>> WHERE THE HOOD?"

>> IT STARTED off with [laughter] y'all

figure trying to figure out where the

hood was. Where's the hood at? We see no

hood.

>> Oh [ __ ]

>> We was like, "Yo, where the hood at?"

And then we coming

at [laughter]

>> Glad to see y'all. only about to have

two groups of friends here.

>> Hey,

>> anyway.

>> Yeah, it was us. It was

>> It was us.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. We sitting down there with the,

you know, the party favors and [ __ ]

>> Yeah. Had some edibles.

>> Yes. [laughter] I went to make sure

y'all felt at home.

>> No, no, NOT I MEAN EVERYBODY. NOT JUST

[laughter]

CRAZY.

>> I made sure. You know what else I

noticed?

>> Here's some blunts. Yo, now you know

what else I noticed? [laughter]

>> A little more liquor.

The liquor carting anyways [laughter]

in the cover and Hennessy over there.

[laughter]

>> The liquor CART IN THE BACK HAD WHAT?

Sack Hennessy.

>> Well, none of that upstairs.

>> It was a little different. That's my

That's THAT'S THE [ __ ] I DRINK. Y'ALL

KNOW ME. Y'ALL BEEN CLOWNING ME BUT FOR

drinking hood liquor forever. That's

literally what's in the basement for me.

So, that's what I had. So, I wanted to

share with y'all. So, I brought down the

edibles and the and the and the and the

vodka and all of that stuff, man.

Hilarious bro.

>> Yeah, big dip.

>> Hold on. I'm done with Mark. Mark's

friends given. But Mark had one friend

in there. Mark had one friend in there

he was playing pool with. Shout out to

him. I don't know anybody's name. I

thought he was actor, but [laughter] Oh,

he did come up to me like, "Yo, man, I

was locked up with your dad."

>> My dad was locked up with a lot of

people man.

>> All my [ __ ] say the same.

>> Four dicks.

>> Like, [laughter] your father, yo, ask

>> MDC and four dicks, man. My dad I got to

I got to write Samson. Yeah. Good

people, man. Just came out of prison,

started a production company, shoot

stuff. Real dope, dude.

>> That's amazing.

>> Yeah, I know him from somewhere. He's

cool.

>> He's a cool dude.

>> Yeah.

>> You're a bum, Mark.

>> So, look. [laughter] So, now we all

leave together

>> and we get outside.

>> Oh, yeah. I forgot about this part.

>> And as we leaving, we look at

everybody's faces and it looked like

they all was like, "Oh, [gasps] they're

they're gone." [laughter] All right,

they're finally leaving. All right, now

we can have some fun.

>> Put the classical music on. Oh, the

music.

It was what was playing downstairs? Bone

crusher.

>> Oh, facts. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Upstairs. Smooth R&B. Neo paparati.

They play.

>> That was crazy.

>> We go walking. I see the neighbors

coming out now acting like he going to

the car. He just looking this. I was

like, "Oh yeah, we got we got

>> Yeah, we're outside yelling about the

strip club and [ __ ] The neighbors just

happened to be taking out their garbage.

I see I see what

>> Everybody loved y'all, man. Everybody

was a good time. Everybody fans of the

show. I think if anything, people try to

stay out your way to not People go out

of their way to not be extra, you know

what I mean? night.

>> Everyone was super cool, man.

>> We joking.

>> I had a blast. Every Everybody was cool.

>> I had a great time with y'all, man. I

wish I could have followed y'all. My

wife and I wish we could have followed

y'all up to the next spot, but we had

to, you know, host and and do all that

stuff man.

>> What time did they leave?

>> About midnight.

>> Oh, that wasn't bad.

>> You could have made it. You could have

made it.

>> Yeah, but you know how it is when you

shutting stuff down. By then, we the

edibles had kicked in and we was we was

all trying to figure out how to get off

the

>> Oh, I was high as [ __ ] in that strip

club. [laughter]

>> Feeling mad, awkward with ass all over

it.

Oh [ __ ]

>> Ish. Where was you at?

>> Yeah. Is

>> I worked uh actually I was working late.

Cory was on his way there. I was in Home

Depot talking to Cory for like an hour.

Um and then I just I was home. I work

man. [snorts]

>> You can't just go to Home Depot and get

your stuff and get out of there, right?

Just got to be [laughter]

>> You got to gag, [ __ ] Just got

>> I work for a living. I can't.

>> Yeah.

>> Saturday night at Home Depot.

I work, [ __ ]

>> I hit this ship, too. Yo, you went over

there.

>> That Home Depot line is like the studio

line used to be for us.

>> Yeah.

>> Now they switch it up at Home Depot. You

got that line. [laughter]

>> Yo, I got to make a quick run to this,

too.

>> Crazy.

>> They deported the whole line.

>> Yeah, it's a selfo 24 hours.

>> None. No. No.

>> That was my breaking news. You mean

you're out? [laughter]

>> I got to go. I got breaking news.

>> Breaking news?

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was my out.

>> Story just broke.

>> Yeah. You can tell people go. I got

>> breaking news.

>> Uh, all right. We got a board full of

breaking news. All of this [ __ ] is

breaking news. All of it is hilarious.

Oh, wait. Thanksgiving.

>> Yeah, Thanksgiving about that time

tomorrow.

>> This is crazy.

>> That [ __ ] crept up.

>> Yeah, she at&mp or somewhere [laughter]

>> shop, right?

>> Hey, my baby at Food Emporium or

somewhere getting it ready. I feel bad

for her cuz every time she go out, get

all the [ __ ] come back and say, "All

right, I got 52 turkey wings. Is that

enough?"

>> The [ __ ] in me just

>> No.

>> No.

I'm sorry. You need more.

>> Just now. I got 32 bushels of collard

greens. You think that's going to be

enough?

>> I'm sorry, baby. Probably not.

>> I don't think so. I don't think so.

>> It's a lot of people you cooking for. I

want leftovers for the next five days.

>> Yeah. That's really what it is.

>> I need enough of the leftovers.

>> Yeah. Yeah, her kids is coming and [ __ ]

It's like all right.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah. Full Oh, that's a big one.

>> Full integrated Thanksgiving.

>> How does that feel?

>> It I mean, it feels good, right? That's

my answer.

>> Mhm.

>> Yesterday, my dad calls two days ago, my

dad calls sounding stressed

and he's like, "Joey, what's going on

for Thanksgiving?" Because Jimmy, my

sisterh

is talking about all these [ __ ] plans

cuz Jimmy is 12 or 11 or how old sisters

are.

[laughter]

>> And her daughter is 10 but a big 10. So

she look 12.

>> So these [ __ ] are talking to

each other.

>> Oh, they they making their own [ __ ]

They making plans.

>> None of the adults know. So my dad is

stressed. I go ask my girl, she starts

sounding stressed. I'm like, "Yeah,

they've been talking. They want to see

Wicked." I'm like, "Y'all are wicked."

>> I went, [laughter] "Get the [ __ ] out of

here."

>> I went and saw that [ __ ] last night. The

second one is not as good. Yeah,

>> I seen them both.

>> Yeah. Second one's not as good.

>> Yeah. So, I mean, it feels good, but

I'll find out for sure when everyone

gets here.

>> Got you.

>> Yeah. I don't I don't know yet.

>> Ask the kids.

>> You You get the players from them.

They'll let you know what's up.

>> My girl know what's up.

>> Or just, you know, get the Broadway

tickets.

>> You got to connect, [ __ ]

>> That's a good idea. a guy out.

>> Who going like Friday? Like [laughter]

Friday for real?

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Take like 10 10 to the Broadway show.

>> No, cuz everybody not going to go. Just

>> Yeah.

>> Wifey the kids. No, that's who going

[laughter]

be

going.

>> I'll be home looking at Drew Bledo

highlights. [laughter]

>> Looking at some old football games.

>> [ __ ] out of here. Uh, [laughter]

>> what are you guys' plans for

Thanksgiving? What What are y'all doing?

What's that?

>> I'm hosting. I'm hosting. Rem's family's

coming through. So,

>> nice. I'm cooking.

>> I'm cooking. I'm cooking.

>> All right. You cook a turkey?

>> Yeah. Hell yeah.

>> [ __ ] That shit's already started.

>> Oh, nice. Nice [ __ ] I just got the

call.

>> You know, in part time, he think he

homeboy in the backyard in South

Carolina.

>> Emerald with [laughter] the big.

>> Yeah, that's the leather shoes. Mark up.

You think you emerald? I'm catching

emerald. Bang. If you had a big house,

>> that's all you missing.

>> Yeah. Yo, dog.

>> I'm not going to lie. That was one thing

about Mark's party. I was like, man, the

suburbs might not be bad.

>> Suburbs might not be bad.

>> I I was sold.

>> How many years?

I told him like I resisted it for 10

years.

>> I love living in New York.

>> 5 minutes away from the strip club. It's

pretty nice.

>> Jersey got something.

>> They do. They do. You might like them,

too.

>> Right in the back of Home Depot. Oh,

[laughter]

>> my bad.

>> I'm sorry.

>> By the PO box. [laughter]

>> Exactly.

>> PO St.

>> I want to play from your [ __ ]

>> Oh, man. Yeah.

>> I'll bring some leftovers.

>> All right. You going to your one of your

girls friends?

>> That's what I'm saying. No, I just got

my my mom just called me two days ago

and said, "All right, we cooking."

>> Oh, what? So yeah, it's just me and my

girl like the kids is gone. So we going

we running around now.

>> Oh do

>> cuz you know Yeah. You know who made

mom's cook?

>> Who

lost me?

>> You know who came home. [ __ ] playing

with me.

>> Yeah, you'll think about it. I tell you.

Tell me off here.

>> I tell you off here.

>> It's what you got going on.

>> [ __ ] Uh going to my girl Mother [ __ ]

>> Chicken pot pies. Boy. [laughter] SHE

SEPARATE PIE.

>> LET ME get a STRAWBERRY PIE.

>> TURKEY [laughter] POT PIE.

>> Don't you

turkey.

>> That is it too. I know it is. That is

it.

>> You leave me hanging on here. I KNOW. I

KNOW WHAT THE [ __ ] YOU TALKING ABOUT. I

THOUGHT you know my homeboy.

>> No, that's it.

>> Of course.

>> That's it. And now they all like, "Yeah,

we got to make something happen."

>> Yeah, we got to do it big.

>> Yep.

>> Come on.

>> My grandma My grandmother came home.

>> Right.

>> And make some noise for that. Make some

noise for his grandma coming home. She

came out

>> putting her sister to work. That's

right. [laughter]

>> Putting her sister to work.

>> That's right.

>> Crazy.

>> All right. So, now what's going on? How

How these shepherd papies getting done?

[laughter] What's going on? I don't even

know what that is, bro.

>> What are you doing over there?

>> Going to my girl mother crib.

>> Do you eat turkey?

>> Some type of turkey. Some type of turkey

porridge. [laughter]

>> TURKEY PORRIDGE.

TURKEY casserole [laughter]

casserole. Bring the blender.

[screaming]

[laughter]

Turkey puree.

[laughter]

This [ __ ] SAID

you eat.

>> What you eating, [ __ ] Give it up. YOU

GIVE UP the good. Do you fish there all

night or you two or just [laughter] just

like

>> yo you are you there all night or you

going you're moving around?

>> No, I'll just go there.

>> Put the turkey

>> turkey pie and sweet potato pie

>> over the brinino.

>> Oh, we doing this.

>> Oh, that's [laughter] right.

>> Turkey fish.

>> It's going to be at at his grandma. It's

cool. Mark, what you doing?

>> Graham crackers over the banana pudding.

[laughter] Some wild white [ __ ]

>> I don't know. Raisins. Raisins. Raisin

all the raisins walnuts and everything

[laughter] raisins in the turkey.

>> Oh [ __ ] It's tough the turkey with

gifts.

[laughter]

>> Stop. What you doing?

>> Nothing. I'm having my mom and I need to

invite her though. But my mom

>> I forgot like you know how you just in

my mind she's she's coming but like that

that's a whole arrangement. I got to get

her from Philly and she's blind so I got

to get some somebody to come with her.

So [laughter]

why the [ __ ] Yo, what the [ __ ]

>> Yo, [ __ ] you crazy. It's his mother,

man.

>> But anytime he [laughter] say it's the

way he do it,

>> I know he's doing that person. Why you

[ __ ] disrespectful, man?

>> What your brother going to say?

>> I'm telling native land. They uh it was

uh it's my mother-in-law, my mother, and

then me, me and my wife, and my son.

That's it.

>> Shout out to the [ __ ] the I don't

know the word for what they call, you

know, the people that have been taking

care of our aunts and our moms and [ __ ]

for the last.

>> Yeah. Shout out to the caretakers out

there. You know they coming. They family

too.

>> They've been watching out for Glattus

for the last 40 years coming. I'm glad

is still kicking. That's right.

>> Especially around holiday time.

>> If it wasn't for the car taker, our

gladest fell down

[laughter]

is the one that let Glattus know who the

[ __ ] you are. [laughter]

>> This your nephew. This your nephew right

here now. [laughter]

Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious.

>> Yo, we ain't [ __ ] man.

>> Yo, y I know y'all do like Christmas

trees. Y'all going to grab trees after?

>> I'm going to storage to get the tree.

>> Oh, you do a plastic tree?

>> Yes. I'm going to get me a tree.

>> You do trees?

>> No. No. I said, "Yo, my wife I mean my

wife does do trees, but you know what I

mean?"

>> I know. That's why I asked.

>> Yeah, that's what I said. Yo, but like

>> black tree

[laughter]

black ass tree.

Third monster. The top [laughter]

down. Oh my god. Just hanging black soap

off that [ __ ]

>> Black some black on top of the

[laughter]

star.

>> That's the star of black.

>> Yo, black, red, and green. Where from,

man?

>> That's funny.

>> Mother lane.

>> I don't know. I'm going to get a

Christmas tree.

>> We should though.

>> She looking at all these [ __ ]

13t fake trees where somebody got to go

up the stairs to put the top on the

tree. The whole tree. She talking about

the [ __ ] be home bored like

they she talking about the white people

they when they build the house they have

a closet where they just push the tree

back and then they pull it back out when

it's time for Christmas again. I said

that's cool but let me ask you a

question. You think I'm building a

Christmas tree closet? [laughter]

>> Let's just start with am I white?

>> YOU GOT THE MONEY. [laughter]

>> THERE YOU GO.

>> I look white. Like let's talk about it

for real. Like, is that what you

[laughter] think is happening?

>> Man, got in trouble, right? Cuz you're

only building your house.

>> All right. So, now you get a Christmas

tree closet, right? [laughter]

>> Oh, man. Anyway, I'm I don't know. They

got some fire fake trees, though.

>> I get the real one. No, some of them

[ __ ] cost, too.

>> I'll spray a little pine soil perfume. I

mean, what [ __ ] [laughter] Pine

perfume.

>> Although I do them now. Little sticks

you just put on. The kids like the real

ones. You last year I went to the forest

and cut one, right?

>> Yeah. Yeah, this [ __ ] the kids like

whatever got gifts under it, my [ __ ]

They don't care. These kids are going to

[ __ ] a real one, too.

>> They went to the forest and cut the

tree.

>> Yeah,

is it cheaper doing that? Why Why would

somebody want to do that? Experience

experience. Yeah, it's experience.

>> It's like the pumpkin patch. But yeah,

we don't.

>> I don't really get that. [laughter] I

don't I don't understand. We going right

there. Go get the pumpkin.

>> Okay, go ahead.

>> All right. Well, happy holidays to

everybody out there, man. Hopefully

I'll be AT HOME. MY WIFE ASKED ME THAT.

I got mad in my wife. Watch your [ __ ]

mouth [ __ ]

>> Your wife [laughter] asked you, "What

are you doing?"

I got MAD ON THE PHONE.

>> Your wife said, "What are you doing for

Thanksgiving?" [laughter]

>> Yo, dead ass. Yo, I thought that WAS

DISRESPECTFUL. I GOT MAD.

>> IT IS. You going to be home for

Thanksgiving? I SAID, "WHAT TYPE OF

[ __ ] YOU THINK I AM? YOU LISTEN TO THE

PART AGAIN? [laughter]

DIDN'T I TAKE AWAY YOUR SUBSCRIPTION?

>> DIDN'T I SHUT OFF YOUR APPLE? [laughter]

NOT EVER be home cuz you know my my

family's in New York so I go to my

family and go check my family and stuff

but I'm going to be home. I told him

invite my mom and everybody over.

>> Which family?

>> My um my grandmother family my aunts.

>> You flip THE NETWORK FAMILY.

>> NO PLEASE.

>> Have a couple little flip. [laughter]

Hey yo,

>> I made the upgrade, [ __ ]

>> Christmas [laughter] surprise.

>> Are y'all [ __ ] crazy?

>> Yo, [ __ ] is bugging. [laughter]

>> [ __ ] family visit to this [ __ ]

>> [ __ ] is bugging.

>> Yeah. What?

>> P box. The [ __ ] is wrong with you, man?

>> No. Let me slide.

>> The Queens family.

>> N [laughter]

I might you

family. Baltimore, Jersey. Atlanta.

[laughter]

>> Yo, I'm coming to your crib. I might

stop at your [ __ ] too.

>> You're more than welcome, my bro.

>> Thank you, bro. away from me, man. That

junk.

>> Hey yo, y'all he got a he got a he got a

pack of turkey. I looked in there. I

almost took some of that [ __ ] home.

[laughter]

The [ __ ] forgot. You know when [ __ ]

get money, they just forget [ __ ] around.

I took some of that [ __ ] home. You got a

pack of turkey in there. Like four.

>> No, you're more than welcome. I got I

got a cooking for 300, man. [laughter]

You know, it'll be more than enough. Do

you believe in doing like I know your

your father your father has his family

mom do what you do.

>> He almost smacked the [ __ ] out of me.

Said what you doing for Thanksgiving

man? Jimmy said your mother said you

have food over there. I said you more

than welcome. Who the [ __ ] you talking

to? [laughter]

Who the [ __ ] is more than welcome? You

say that [ __ ] to me again.

>> Oh my god. That's so you like bringing

everybody together like is that a thing?

Like

>> my mom going to go do her own thing. She

going to go do her own thing. She was

originally supposed to be out of town

but that was during the TSA [ __ ] So

>> she she cancelled that but she'll be at

her friend's house. Uh my dad and the

kids. My brothers will come up. My

sister will be there.

>> Uh my baby her kids. [ __ ] Kino Edith.

I'm sure Cory will come get a turkey

wing.

>> I'm pulling up

pulling up. [ __ ] I might pull up.

>> We running. We ain't got no kids so we

just running. This is the first time we

just live. Yeah.

>> I feel like a freak. [laughter]

>> Freak say you got no kids. Yo, you

>> [ __ ] laugh.

>> You love me so much.

>> No, when I say I got no kids, I mean I'm

going outside nutted on itself. He said

[laughter]

>> yo,

>> [ __ ] bro.

>> You know my kid. [laughter] I love him.

But god damn. Oh, he going to be he

going to be there. He ain't going to be

there. That's I might slip out. I might

just [laughter]

I'll be right back. Can't leave little

mama with grandma and nothing, man.

Grandma.

>> Yo. Yeah. They She gets on they nerves

fast.

>> What time is [laughter] your bedtime? I

bet mom is noon. Let them play. My man.

>> I feel like part of the only reason we

could leave this. Uh I feel like part of

the only reason my girls even up here

cooking. She said some [ __ ] She was

like, "Yeah, I'll come up and cook." I

mean, last Thanksgiving you wasn't doing

[ __ ] You just ran around and got plates

from houses. And I was like,

>> "That's the bag.

>> That's fly."

>> Yeah.

>> I love doing that.

>> Me, too. Yo, when you just home in the

house by yourself, then you get up at

around 3:00 or 4 and start making

rounds.

>> Make them rounds.

>> It's a good feeling. You just go in

there. You don't have to be there too

long. You go in there and sh What's the

rules on that? How long?

>> And some houses make some [ __ ] better

than others. I got turkey from you. I

got stuff from you. I got Mac from you.

It's lit for the next 5 days.

>> Yep.

>> She hate it.

>> How long you got to stay to get a plate?

Cuz apparently I do plates wrong

according to your [ __ ]

>> No, you don't have to stay that long.

If people know that you're coming,

they'll put a plate aside and you know

what I mean? Like Caribbean [ __ ] do

that. Are you coming? All right, I got

something on the side for you and [ __ ]

like that. You just go there. Hey, what

up y'all?

>> In the hood, some families ex are only

expecting you to come for the plate.

>> Yep.

>> Like you've been doing this for 10

years. We know your family. Some people

don't have family. It's like I used to

go to shout out to Kita and her mom in

Jersey City. Every year it was like a

ritual. I pop right up, get a plate,

talk for a few minutes, and get out of

there.

>> I respect that.

>> My baby mom, the first one, uh, you're

the first one said, uh, says she got a

plate for me. I'm getting it. [laughter]

>> You want to eat it?

>> Well, y'all good. Y'all good. Eat it.

Eat it.

>> That [ __ ] Trey don't like that [ __ ]

>> I [laughter] got a plate FOR YOU.

>> HEY, DAD. WHAT YOU DOING HERE? YO. HEY,

[ __ ] SHUT THE [ __ ] UP. GIVE ME A

PLATE, [ __ ] [laughter] WHERE MY PLAY

AT?

>> YEAH, we got one day we got to talk

about it. Your kid be scared as hell if

you start cracking mom again.

>> Oh [ __ ]

>> Yo, [laughter] jealous.

>> That's just me. All right, you're right.

>> All right, forget it.

>> There is a conversation to be had about

that, but All right, now we going to

have it.

>> Not on holiday weekend. Holiday week.

Uh, all right. What else? What [snorts]

else?

>> What else? Get me out of here. Save me

for myself.

>> Joe, let me let me congratulate you.

>> You, uh, made the Route 100.

Uh the roots is that [ __ ] that you or

>> that's well that's not how this goes.

[clears throat]

>> Last week when me and Mona was popping

our [ __ ]

>> her about the comedy list me about I

make so many lists I don't even remember

anymore but whatever list I made Mark

stunted and was like well I made the

Route 100 best 100 best black people

ever invented since since BC since

before Christ.

And we was like, "Oh shit." All right,

[ __ ] [clears throat] You a have to do

all that. And toward the end of the

episode, I was like, "Well, Mark, is

there anybody else that you want to

shout out that made the Route 100?" He

brushed over it.

>> There's nobody shouted out.

>> Nobody was mentioning.

>> Boy, I get home and to my surprise.

[laughter]

>> Guess who else made the Route 100?

[cough]

>> Oh, you guessed it. [laughter]

>> Me.

Come on, MARK.

>> I DIDN'T KNOW.

>> MARK IS A HAT. [laughter] Oh man,

>> come on. Mark is a hater.

>> I DIDN'T EVEN READ THE LIST.

>> A KNEW you was on it

>> cuz I sent you an email like asking you

to come to the gayla and so I just

responds.

>> You going to the gayla?

>> Oh, I got to check my email.

>> Yeah,

>> you going to the gayla.

>> Where promotions?

>> You know they be splitting the email.

[laughter]

>> Right.

>> Sometimes a good email will hit that

promotion. [ __ ] you.

>> You got to go look. [laughter]

>> I turn that [ __ ] back. I want all

>> I would go to the Route 100.

>> It's actually kind of dope. It's in New

York. It's uh

>> and I'm going to trying to go to

Martha's Vineyard for the Black People

weekend. And they do.

>> You should definitely come.

>> I told you.

>> Are you going this week?

>> Yeah.

>> I mean this week. This year?

>> Yeah.

>> Oh, we out.

>> LET'S SAY LET'S DO IT.

>> YEAH. Don't try to not be seen with me,

[ __ ]

>> I'll introduce y'all to the people.

>> To what people? [laughter]

>> People on the first floor.

>> We the hood.

[laughter]

>> The rest of them already there.

>> Basement. First floor. There. Definitely

a lot of Definitely a lot of vineyard

people upstairs. That's a shame.

[laughter]

>> That is a damn shame. Yeah, we the hood.

>> Yeah, we the hood.

>> It's all right. No, it's cool. I had fun

with the hood.

>> Yeah, me too. Yep.

>> Yeah.

>> Just got to know what you

don't know what that is.

Freeze.

>> Oh,

>> you don't know. [laughter]

You know what that is?

>> Yes, I know what that is, [ __ ]

>> Tell that [ __ ] free. You don't know.

>> I'm great at this game.

My girl tried to do this [ __ ] on the

Instagram the other day. They play one

second of a song and you got to pick out

a song. I knew all them [ __ ]

>> You know, Joe, don't act like I next

week when I come.

>> You play a song for one second. I'm

going to

>> You're not going to get all the songs

for one second, Joe.

>> Depending on what the song I know a lot

of songs. Depend on the genre. I know a

lot of songs.

>> All right. Next week, I'm coming with a

record. This next week, we'll do it.

We'll do it then. Um, all right. It's

time for my favorite part of the show,

Pri.

>> All right. This episode is brought to

you by Prize Picks. Listen, you and I

make decisions every day. But on Prize

Picks, being right can get you paid. So